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From Jalopnik... but no f-bods
The motorcycle stereotypes:
Harley Road King = dentist
BMW R1200GS = software developer
BMW R1200RT= high school chemistry teacher
Gixxter 600 = The kid who got your daughter pregnant, probably lives in Florida, wears flip-flops a lot.
Any Moto Guzzi = Your most eccentric uncle
Ducati Monster = That guy at your office who knows the Starbucks menu inside-out. Reply
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To be honest, I haven't had problems with BMW drivers in years.
The most obnoxious, by far, are drivers of:
1) Dodge Charger
2) Scion tC
3) Nissan Altima/Maxima
4) Infiniti G35
5) any large SUV (especially Nissan and GM)
6) Toyota Prius (self-righteous pricks who buy a hybrid but then are constantly doing 80mph)
7) Pick-ups (specifically those driven by contractors)
Drivers of riced up Integras, Civics, Corollas and Accords used to be quite annoying, but too much attention from the police seems to have mellowed them out. They don't seem to seek out trouble outside of losing control and damaging some private property.
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I worked in the service bay of an exotics and luxury dealer two summers ago. I did extensive sociological research in this time, and I'll do my best to reproduce my findings for you here:
Audi: If a black A4, the owner is inevitably a girl in college with wealthy parents. The wealthier the parents, the younger the girl. Or a young guy with a questionable career, and you end up brushing weed ashes off the passenger seat, the dashboard, the driver's seat, the instrument panel, and...you get the picture. A6 owners tend to be exasperated with their lives. A3 owners feel like they've got something to prove. This does not apply for European owners. R8 owners are either very easygoing or extremely neurotic, it's a crapshoot. A5 owners don't appreciate how beautiful their cars are. Q7 owners are typically wealthy wives, but generally ones with too many kids for a Cayenne. Q5 owners might as well be driving Volvos.
Porsche: Porsche drivers are actually *******s. It is completely true. Out of probably 800 Porsche owners I greeted, roughly two were pleasant to deal with. One was a porn magnate and the other a WB exec, so the industry probably counteracted the ******* effect of the car. Probably 70% of these customers were doctors, and all of them weren't the Dr. Dorian type, they were a mixture of the very worst of Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso. Disclaimer: Cayenne owners are just proto-Q7 owners (see above).
Jaguar: I wish I had a good explanation for this, but I don't. Every male Jaguar owner I helped, within a 99.99% error rate, was flamboyantly gay. I've got nothing against it, but I understand Jags to be the equivalent of Subies for lesbians. Aight. Also, all female Jag owners scream "multiple divorcee" with lots of hair dye and botox. X-Type owners are sort of sad and resigned.
Ferrari/Aston: In sharp contrast to Porsche owners, these über wealthy folks had no reason to be unpleasant to a peon like myself, so they weren't! I don't think I found one I didn't like; most were charismatic and made you feel comfortable because they knew you were on your best behavior. Astons can have some eccentric fanboys, one guy used his DB7 as a daily driver and looked Hunter S. Thompson-like. Another, even more HST-type asked me to help him clear out his glovebox, at one point handing me his gun.
Maserati: I'm getting tired to typing all these out so I apologize if my charisma is decreasing, but boy were these some slick Latin types. If they had soft Italian-leather boots and programmed the navigation in Chilean Spanish, you knew you were in a Maserati owner's...Maserati. They carried themselves with a comedic grace not out of cockiness but just because they couldn't imagine NOT being perfect. Those hairs everywhere? Those were unwanted eyebrows. I'd have noted more about them but when I sat down to move the cars I was too busy orgasming with every surface I touched. Even the window controls felt gooooooooood.
Harley Road King = dentist
BMW R1200GS = software developer
BMW R1200RT= high school chemistry teacher
Gixxter 600 = The kid who got your daughter pregnant, probably lives in Florida, wears flip-flops a lot.
Any Moto Guzzi = Your most eccentric uncle
Ducati Monster = That guy at your office who knows the Starbucks menu inside-out. Reply
sending request
Invite a friend to comment
To be honest, I haven't had problems with BMW drivers in years.
The most obnoxious, by far, are drivers of:
1) Dodge Charger
2) Scion tC
3) Nissan Altima/Maxima
4) Infiniti G35
5) any large SUV (especially Nissan and GM)
6) Toyota Prius (self-righteous pricks who buy a hybrid but then are constantly doing 80mph)
7) Pick-ups (specifically those driven by contractors)
Drivers of riced up Integras, Civics, Corollas and Accords used to be quite annoying, but too much attention from the police seems to have mellowed them out. They don't seem to seek out trouble outside of losing control and damaging some private property.
See 0 reply Hide 0 reply
sending request
Invite a friend to comment
I worked in the service bay of an exotics and luxury dealer two summers ago. I did extensive sociological research in this time, and I'll do my best to reproduce my findings for you here:
Audi: If a black A4, the owner is inevitably a girl in college with wealthy parents. The wealthier the parents, the younger the girl. Or a young guy with a questionable career, and you end up brushing weed ashes off the passenger seat, the dashboard, the driver's seat, the instrument panel, and...you get the picture. A6 owners tend to be exasperated with their lives. A3 owners feel like they've got something to prove. This does not apply for European owners. R8 owners are either very easygoing or extremely neurotic, it's a crapshoot. A5 owners don't appreciate how beautiful their cars are. Q7 owners are typically wealthy wives, but generally ones with too many kids for a Cayenne. Q5 owners might as well be driving Volvos.
Porsche: Porsche drivers are actually *******s. It is completely true. Out of probably 800 Porsche owners I greeted, roughly two were pleasant to deal with. One was a porn magnate and the other a WB exec, so the industry probably counteracted the ******* effect of the car. Probably 70% of these customers were doctors, and all of them weren't the Dr. Dorian type, they were a mixture of the very worst of Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso. Disclaimer: Cayenne owners are just proto-Q7 owners (see above).
Jaguar: I wish I had a good explanation for this, but I don't. Every male Jaguar owner I helped, within a 99.99% error rate, was flamboyantly gay. I've got nothing against it, but I understand Jags to be the equivalent of Subies for lesbians. Aight. Also, all female Jag owners scream "multiple divorcee" with lots of hair dye and botox. X-Type owners are sort of sad and resigned.
Ferrari/Aston: In sharp contrast to Porsche owners, these über wealthy folks had no reason to be unpleasant to a peon like myself, so they weren't! I don't think I found one I didn't like; most were charismatic and made you feel comfortable because they knew you were on your best behavior. Astons can have some eccentric fanboys, one guy used his DB7 as a daily driver and looked Hunter S. Thompson-like. Another, even more HST-type asked me to help him clear out his glovebox, at one point handing me his gun.
Maserati: I'm getting tired to typing all these out so I apologize if my charisma is decreasing, but boy were these some slick Latin types. If they had soft Italian-leather boots and programmed the navigation in Chilean Spanish, you knew you were in a Maserati owner's...Maserati. They carried themselves with a comedic grace not out of cockiness but just because they couldn't imagine NOT being perfect. Those hairs everywhere? Those were unwanted eyebrows. I'd have noted more about them but when I sat down to move the cars I was too busy orgasming with every surface I touched. Even the window controls felt gooooooooood.
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