Too selfish???

[FirebirdGT]

Originally posted by tdz16:
I'd agree, but my ex would've given me the world if she could. I guess I was spoiled. I feel like i should be able to get a little out of my gf you know? Or at least get the desire on her part to make me happy...

After reading all the posts, the conclusion is that YOU are the PROBLEM, not her.

It's NOT her job to make you happy, and if you believe it is I hope she bails FAST.

A relationship is 90%-10%. You each give 90%. You are in CONDITIONAL love. A successful relationship is based on UNCONDITIONAL love.

BTW, I'm not 19 or something, but 53 with a LOT of experience.

[tdz16]

Rob, thanks for your input. You don't have to push the knife further into my heart. I've seen a lot of **** with relationships including my own parents divorce. I've been in a bunch myself and know a thing or two about that 90-10 rule. The key is, your 90% should always be given and you should be happy with that. I, of all male humans, am completely ok with that. Its when she gives a big fat ZERO and doesn't even seem to care about my happyness that I get upset. If your wife told you she didn't want to make you happy, would you smile and say, "aww hun, thats ok, keep being a ***** and I'll love you unconditionally"??? Or wouldn't you sit down with her and try to talk to her about how you feel? Come on, I'm sure your a very intellegent and intellectual adult and you can level with me here. If you knew me, I feel you could judge better. My goal from day to day is to make this girls life a little better than the last day. My family, my friends and professors will all tell you that. There is no one in my life who doesn't know that I treat her like gold and more often than not get the short end of the stick. Either way, I appreciate your input and wish you well. Thanks.
~Tom

[ February 28, 2005, 11:38 PM: Message edited by: tdz16 ]

[FirebirdGT]

Originally posted by tdz16:
Rob, thanks for your input.

Good, I got your attention. Many guys just need to WAKEUP.

Originally posted by tdz16:
If your wife told you she didn't want to make you happy, would you smile and say, "aww hun, thats ok, keep being a ***** and I'll love you unconditionally"??? Or wouldn't you sit down with her and try to talk to her about how you feel?

Got the T-shirt. Did it all. Therapists. Worthless. Hung in there for the kids. Finally divorced her after 15 years, and she was PISSED at me? If this is truly the case, then you need to seriously think about bailing FAST yourself. You don't WORK at a relationship, it just HAPPENS if it is right.

BTW, get a book on Co-Dependent relationships, might be enlightening.

[ March 01, 2005, 05:24 PM: Message edited by: FirebirdGT ]

[tdz16]

Maybe I will. I'm serious. I'd like to better myself in the process. I'm sorry if I went off in my last post. I just think you judged me a little too much at first. Maybe some of it about that, "it just happens if it is right" is denial on my part. I want it to be right with her....who knows...maybe it'll never be. I just feel I have to give it a chance and I DO try my hardest and give my constant 100%.
~Tom

[FirebirdGT]

Originally posted by tdz16:
I'm sorry if I went off in my last post. I just think you judged me a little too much at first.

Like I said, it got your attention and now you're THINKING. If you can, talk to a professional - therapist, etc. Good luck.

[dashboardrunner]

haha not bein mean or anything dude cause ive been there more then once myself and know exactly what ur talkin about but... theres more fish in the sea.....

[tdz16]

Just an update for those who care:

Over the past two days we talked things out real good and we decided that a break was in order. We're going to continue seeing each other come may when she gets home from school, or even earlier. I just need some time away from her and for her to realize the severity of how she's treated me. Which i really feel she is already seeing. This is in no way punishing her, don't get me wrong, I just need some time alone I think or to be with someone else(not intimately) but just to see what I had with her and see if it was enough to bring me back. If its meant to be it'll happen the way I figure.....Sorry if this has annoyed or bored anyone...just venting...thanks for replying...
~Tom