Are you tired of all those sissy-*** "friendship" poems that always
> >sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is
a
> >series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
> >
> >1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
> >against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
> >
> >2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking
you.
> >
> >3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
> >
> >4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I
get.
> >
> >5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about
how
> >much worse it could be and to quit whining.
> >
> >6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
> >
> >7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are
well
> >again.
> >I don't want whatever you have.
> >
> >8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ***.
> >
> >This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. "Why?" you may ask,
because
> >you are my friend. Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get
> >depressed because you can only think of 4.
> >
> >Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend
will
> >help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a
shovel.
> >I'm on standby.
> >sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is
a
> >series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
> >
> >1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
> >against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
> >
> >2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking
you.
> >
> >3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
> >
> >4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I
get.
> >
> >5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about
how
> >much worse it could be and to quit whining.
> >
> >6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
> >
> >7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are
well
> >again.
> >I don't want whatever you have.
> >
> >8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ***.
> >
> >This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. "Why?" you may ask,
because
> >you are my friend. Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get
> >depressed because you can only think of 4.
> >
> >Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend
will
> >help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a
shovel.
> >I'm on standby.
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