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I know you all work with / go to school with at least one person who is so ignorant, stupid, annoying, or pathetic that you can barely stand it. Let me tell you about Bob.
We hired Bob several months ago to replace an employee who left us for more interesting work. I brought him in for an interview personally, and after the interview I felt comfortable that he knew what he was doing and would perform his new duties reasonably well. He didn’t seem as sharp, and didn’t have as broad a skill set as his predecessor, but his predecessor was also significantly underpaid (one of the reasons he left, I’m sure).
He shares my office. After a few weeks, when he became more comfortable with his new coworkers, he started to show his true personality. He sits at his desk all day and laughs to himself, in this annoying goofy laugh. I mean all day long, too. What is he laughing at? I have no idea. All I know is that it never stops. The laugh its self couldn’t sound any more annoying, I mean, it’s like a “I’m a retahd and I like potato salad!” laugh, followed by a wistful sigh.
AaHoooHaaaHee… Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.
AAaaHooooHeeeHaaaa……… Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.
AaahHooHhehHaaoo….. Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
It’s really the sigh that pisses me off the most. I had to move all of the heavy objects off my desk because I started to fear that I wouldn’t be able to keep myself from lunging over his desk and bashing his skull in repeatedly with my Swingline.
That’s just the start. He has absolutely no understanding of… Well, anything. God forbid I answer any of his questions, because if I show any willingness to communicate with him he’ll launch into some juvenile story, interrupted often by his hideous laughsigh. The stories usually contain the words “poop”. He’s in his mid 20s, by the way.
And my God, his diet! He eats nothing but potato chips, pizza, doughnuts, Slim Jims, candy, Pepsi, and McDonalds, and eats them in such copious quantities! I often have to leave the room when he eats, which is about five to ten times on an average day. Once he starts, he doesn’t stop until it’s gone, and the noises that emanate from his side of the office are so ****ing foul that I literally feel like gagging sometimes when I hear him eating. And the worst part is, he doesn’t even understand that his diet isn’t normal. I told him once that he has the diet of a parentless 12 year old, and he does.
Crunch Crunch GAH! Slurrrppp BELLLLLLCH “Ahh!” Rggggggggggg. Snort! Crunch Crunch “Ugh!” Crhaaaaaaaaa………..
The company bought donuts this morning, a dozen. There are five employees in today. I went to get one at noon and they were gone. He had eaten seven.
I’m becoming enraged just talking about it. I have a lot more to say but I just can’t continue because I can feel the big vein pounding in the side of my head, and psycho-Infernal wants to come out and solve this problem the quick way, by ramming a truckload of pastries down his annoying, fat ****ing maw until his stupid annoying laughsigh fades away once and for all!!!
We hired Bob several months ago to replace an employee who left us for more interesting work. I brought him in for an interview personally, and after the interview I felt comfortable that he knew what he was doing and would perform his new duties reasonably well. He didn’t seem as sharp, and didn’t have as broad a skill set as his predecessor, but his predecessor was also significantly underpaid (one of the reasons he left, I’m sure).
He shares my office. After a few weeks, when he became more comfortable with his new coworkers, he started to show his true personality. He sits at his desk all day and laughs to himself, in this annoying goofy laugh. I mean all day long, too. What is he laughing at? I have no idea. All I know is that it never stops. The laugh its self couldn’t sound any more annoying, I mean, it’s like a “I’m a retahd and I like potato salad!” laugh, followed by a wistful sigh.
AaHoooHaaaHee… Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.
AAaaHooooHeeeHaaaa……… Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.
AaahHooHhehHaaoo….. Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
It’s really the sigh that pisses me off the most. I had to move all of the heavy objects off my desk because I started to fear that I wouldn’t be able to keep myself from lunging over his desk and bashing his skull in repeatedly with my Swingline.
That’s just the start. He has absolutely no understanding of… Well, anything. God forbid I answer any of his questions, because if I show any willingness to communicate with him he’ll launch into some juvenile story, interrupted often by his hideous laughsigh. The stories usually contain the words “poop”. He’s in his mid 20s, by the way.
And my God, his diet! He eats nothing but potato chips, pizza, doughnuts, Slim Jims, candy, Pepsi, and McDonalds, and eats them in such copious quantities! I often have to leave the room when he eats, which is about five to ten times on an average day. Once he starts, he doesn’t stop until it’s gone, and the noises that emanate from his side of the office are so ****ing foul that I literally feel like gagging sometimes when I hear him eating. And the worst part is, he doesn’t even understand that his diet isn’t normal. I told him once that he has the diet of a parentless 12 year old, and he does.
Crunch Crunch GAH! Slurrrppp BELLLLLLCH “Ahh!” Rggggggggggg. Snort! Crunch Crunch “Ugh!” Crhaaaaaaaaa………..
The company bought donuts this morning, a dozen. There are five employees in today. I went to get one at noon and they were gone. He had eaten seven.
I’m becoming enraged just talking about it. I have a lot more to say but I just can’t continue because I can feel the big vein pounding in the side of my head, and psycho-Infernal wants to come out and solve this problem the quick way, by ramming a truckload of pastries down his annoying, fat ****ing maw until his stupid annoying laughsigh fades away once and for all!!!
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