Jokey McJoke Joke Joke.

[98v6]

a guy is walking down the beach, when he sees a girl with no arms or legs laying on the sand.


Upon further inspection, it becomes apparent that she is crying.

The guy walks up and says why you cryin' darlin?

She says: I've never been hugged before. The guy promptly hugs her, only to hear her sobs get deeper and faster as she starts crying even harder.

What now, asks the guy. Oh, I've just never been kissed before is her reply.

The guy kisses her, with the same result. So what the hell is your problem this time he asks...

Oh, she replies, it's just that i've never been screwed before.

He picks her and throws her out into the ocean. "Now, you're screwed!"

[hawgs]

Originally posted by 98v6:
sucks...

[ReodDai]

that joke is older than I am..

[HAZ-Matt]

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.” The first man said.“You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife,”

The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

[HAZ-Matt]

St. Peter was standing outside the gates of heaven when three men appeared, all of them doctors. Peter looked at the first one and asked, ''What have you done in your life to deserve admittance into heaven?''

''I was an oncologist—I helped many cancer patients and saved many lives,'' the man answered.

''Very well,'' said St. Peter. ''You may enter...''

Peter looked at the second man and asked, ''What have you done in your life to deserve admittance into heaven?''

''I was a clinical pediatrician—I helped many poor kids who could not afford private care,'' said the second man.

''Very well,'' said St. Peter. ''You may enter...''

Peter then turned to the third man and asked, ''And what have YOU done in your life to deserve admittance into heaven?''

''I was the director of a large HMO company in the United States,'' the third man said proudly.

St. Peter paused and looked in his book for a few minutes. After a while, he looked up and said to the third man, ''Well, you may enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but you may only stay for three days....''

[CaLiJeRk]

Originally posted by HAZ-Matt:
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.” The first man said.“You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife,”

The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

oldie but goodie [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]

[WishIHad$$$]

"Yo Snoop Dogg, why you carryin' an umbrella"


"Fo tha drizzle"

[Skapimp]

Originally posted by WishIHad$$$:
"Yo Snoop Dogg, why you carryin' an umbrella"


"Fo tha drizzle"

... you said it wrong.

[nikon]

[img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]

[Christian]

Originally posted by nikon:
[img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]

Agreed ;)

[daxdie]

This is a silly thread, but really really funny!

[WishIHad$$$]

Originally posted by Skapimp:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by WishIHad$$$:
"Yo Snoop Dogg, why you carryin' an umbrella"


"Fo tha drizzle"

... you said it wrong. </font>[/QUOTE]

[j_downey50]

Originally posted by WishIHad$$$:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Skapimp:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by WishIHad$$$:
"Yo Snoop Dogg, why you carryin' an umbrella"


"Fo tha drizzle"

... you said it wrong. </font>[/QUOTE] </font>[/QUOTE]it's supposed to be:
why does snoop dogg carry an umbrella?
fo' drizzle

[98goldbird]

A Guy walks into a bar..........


OUCH!


I had to say that one...sorry.

[3.4 [deployed]]

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"