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1. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how??)
2. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
3. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
4. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...really???...)
5. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)
6. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(we could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
7. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???...)
8. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what?)
9. On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
10. On an American Airlines pack et of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(fly Delta!)
11. On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
(and that would be how??)
2. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
3. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
4. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...really???...)
5. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)
6. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(we could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
7. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???...)
8. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what?)
9. On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
10. On an American Airlines pack et of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(fly Delta!)
11. On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
dude you gotta keep em coming!!
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