How hard is it......

[Blindside]

I hate to rant, but i think i have to. Its been about a month and a half since my g/f of 2 years left for college. We broke up on the worst terms right before she left, and I've felt horrible since. She's coming to town next weekend, and she asked for "nothing but a lunch between friends." I know this sounds stupid, but I don't want to get back together with her, even though i still have lots of feelings. Any suggestions?

[asdf1234]

Don't go to lunch with her.

[fbirdgt01]

Originally posted by asdf1234:
Don't go to lunch with her.

Bingo, but also explain that its just too hard for you right now. And if you don't want to see her, i would eliminate trying to be her friend, because as long as you have ANY contact with her, those feelings won't be able to go away because you'll be reminded of her constantly.

[L32Projekt]

Whoa, there's a huge hole where the PLOT is supposed to be in this movie! Where'd it go? I feel lost, I want my money back!

aka Can you give us a bit more info? Just going off of what you've said, it seems like you feel really guilty. If she senses this, you're gonna be buying her Prada (sp?) handbags before you know it, and she'll have you by the BALLS!

Don't do it, LOL.

[ThatsMeGC]

I wouldn't, You are broken up. It sounds to me like she is the one who ended it, probably so she could experience college without feeling held back by a boyfriend at home. Just guessing though.

But it sounds like she hurt you and you aren't over her even though you probably want to be.

If thats the case, I would either tell her no, that she ended the relationship and thats the end of it, have a nice life, you are done with her. Or agree to the lunch, grab everything of hers that you may still have any pictures whatever and take them to the lunch and say there ya go its all hers if she wants it, because you don't. And tell her bye and if she has any feelings for you she would understand that she shouldn't contact you anymore so you can try to move on.

[Shirl]

originally posted by asdf1234:
Don't go to lunch with her.

A BIG "X2" !

[Gallstaff]

Agreed. I'm having a similar problem but it just makes things easier if you put it out of your way. The minute you see her, things will become 100 times more difficult as all of the old strong feelings will come rushing back.

[Loochy88]

something weird happens to girls when they go to college. especially the ones who have been held back by parents or have had long term boyfriends. ive seen it, and its kind of pathetic. of course, guys do it to, just in a different way.

i say go, and let her know how you feel, but keep it at that and leave her hanging... break her expectations. youll be leaving a heck of a taste in her mouth for when she goes back.

of course, we are missing a bit of context here and therefore this might be terrible advice

[3.4 slow to go]

Don't go, send her a letter explaining why. If she still insists on meeting, reccomend she go see a counselor.

[Blindside]

Sorry, I typed all that last night and i was extremely tired. Most of what everyone said is correct, except that it was a "mutual" ending. We argued over something stupid, i don't even remember, then it escalated to the point where we told each other "I don't want to be held back", etc. I dunno really, i know what Gallstaff said is going to be true. If I see her, ill want her back. But, as Loochy88 said, i would like to "leave a heck of a taste in her mouth."

[asdf1234]

You have to realize that the "heck of a taste in her mouth" is going to dissapear the second she gets back to college. In the midst of partying, being away from home, the responsibilities she has to deal with, and the unlimited amount of freedom, she's not going to sit around moping because you were pretty much a nice guy at lunch.

If you want to affect her the most, agree to go to lunch, and then blow her off. That will probably hurt her, or get her thinking the most. It's kind of a cheap shot but its effective. After blowing her off she might feel inclined to try and get your attention some more, and sucker you into saying something or doing something thats only going to make her feel better, and get you more hurt. Just keep blowing her off, it'll make you feel better, and you both will get over it eventually. Hopefully you first.

[ September 25, 2005, 02:45 PM: Message edited by: asdf1234 ]

[Fbody3400]

It becomes one million times easier if you don't see her. Trust me on this one. I just got f**ked out of a 1 + year relationship. I totally didn't want it to end, but it will get better.

If you don't think you can handle seeing her, don't do it. If you really want to see her and you feel like it will complete something, go for it. Just be aware that the instant you see her your feelings will be back and your gonna be back at square one being extremely pissed off and depressed...

[Rabid Dog]

Sever. Now.

If you don't you'll regret it. Girls in their first year of college don't know what the hell they want. Odds are if you hadn't broken up, you would have by first year's end.

If you must revisit old feelings, wait till she's matured more AFTER college.

Take it from me and others that know better. Sever.