NEVER EVER BE THE NICE GUY IT DOESNT PAY

[the bandit]

ok so were still text messaging snd she says shes devistated still.......I think she might get over it and try to work things out its hard since Im 4 states away from her......I have figured out that working out and working on the car are the best forms or therapy for me.....and in my opinion if she cant work this out i wouldnt want to be with her...in life things happen and I want the weakest part of the chain to be strong too...we will see....peace

[the bandit]

Yea banging random hoes is nice everyonce in a while but for some reason when you fins that chemistry with a girl...it doesnt compare...and now u have to go back to the random hoes.....

[1DangerousV6]

Originally posted by 12secondv6:
Hmmmm, sorry to hear.

I've always tried to be the nice guy.
I sit by and watch the @ssholes get the ladies.
Should I become an @sshole to get a lady??? Nah!

I'll continue being myself.

I'll continue being the nice guy

amen..you're not being a nice guy if you're only doing it or acting like one just to do something for a girl..you're just ACTING like one..around here..i saw the same things as James..all the d*ckless total @ssholes getting what seemed to be these great women..and id just be me..my mama raised me to pay for dinner..get the door for her..put her first no matter what..etc..i was simply being me..and would get dumped time and time again..dumpings that i just completely didnt deserve..so there came a point when i thought the same way..should i change myself?..do the things these guys do to get these girls?..things i dont agree with?..no..i wouldnt break..no matter how long it took..i waited for someone to come to me..cuz i knew it'd be worth it..and i was ready to live alone if need be..if that was the way fate would have it..and there really was nobody for me..as hard as it was..i stayed alone for some time..because i wouldnt change myself a bit either..and all that hard time alone was well worth it..because i dont just have some woman..i have a REAL woman..keep it real..be true to yourself..and everyone else..and eventually yours will come along..and trust me..it'll be worth it

[Ender2664]

Couldn't agree with you more dangerousv6...a real guy isn't a nice guy to get chicks, he is a nice guy cause that is who he is, and if you are willing to change that to get chicks...than all that shows is weak moral fiber and charactor, hold strong, and hold to who you are, it will all pay off in the end. I see it in the select few that did such as my father, nothing but good comes from sticking to who you are, when you are a good person.

[Fbody3400]

Originally posted by Red V6 Raider:
I'm not trying to be rude by any means because ........................I just consider all my previously failed relationships as practice. Hopefully, I can find someone one day.

/end gayness

[img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img] that end gayness had me laughing!!

I'm gonna have to quote axl rose on this, "Live and let die"

Girls are addicting, but are you seriously considering getting back with her for a third time? Do you wanna put yourself through this again?

Also, has anybody scolded his X-g/f's BEST friend for messin around with him?? Imagine if you found out your best bud just had sex with your ex. I'd think that was sorta messed up if he didnt confer with me.

[Ender2664]

I agree, make sure she has said something to her friend, both parties should be in trouble. I know that techniquelly once you are broken up you are off the leash, but i am sorry, and one that i consider a good friend needs to ask me before hooking up with one of my X's that i consider serious, cause i would do the same for them...and have in the past. Hell i ask my friends if they mind me hooking up with them even if they just know them, i just don't want there to be any possibility of some girl getting between me and my friends.
Case and point, my buddy nailed this chick a couple of times, and brought her to a car show, but dumbed her to the curb right after. A couple weeks later i meet up with her and she asked if i wanted to hang out...they never had a relationship or anything, but i still called him and asked him to make sure he was 100% okay with it before i said that i was, to aviod anything bad happening.
Long story short, make sure that she is yelling at her friend to, and not just trying to find reasons to be mad at you! But this sounds like a bad idea to me anyways.

[camaro_speedemon]

Originally posted by Ender2664:
Putting walls up to shut you off from the bad shuts you off from the good too. You defense mechanisms show nothing but your own weakness in my own opinion, your fright of getting hurt, and i personally will not let what a bunch of bad people do to me change who i am for the worse so that the rest of the world, and the couple other good people out there won't be able to experiance who i am and what i stand for...but if you are to weak to stand strong, than that is who you are.

Like I said, get back to me in 6 years and see how much your views on life have changed.

Putting up walls is a self defence mechanism, yes. It's called learning from your mistakes. If you keep touching a hot stove, would you not learn that it hurts and stop doing it?

I used to fall for girls so easily when I was younger. Then of course, we'd break up and I would be completely devistated. I would then get extremely depressed and it would be months before I recovered. I eventually started learning to build up a wall to I didn't get hurt as easily. But I guess me learning from my mistakes makes me weak.

Building up walls doesn't mean you can't be nice any more dude. It just shows you have a set balls and won't let yourself be taken advantage of. To this day, I have never met a girl who would date a pushover. Girls want a person who is confident in themselves, not someone who rolls over all the time. I never had a successful relationship when I was a pushover. It wasn't until I started acting overly confident in myself is when I started having successful relationships.

BTW, You also fall into a different catagory. You're a virgin who is waiting for marraige. That puts you into the same catagory as gay guys, the unobtainable male. Girls are used to having control over men, they are the holders of the warm apple pie. By you not wanting sex, you take that power away from them. They see you as a challenge and will try and break you.

A little secret for the rest of you. The same applies, girls are used to having the power. You have to seem slightly uninterested in them. Give them the illusion that you dont want them. They will start thinking why can't they get you, and then start chasing you.

Help that old lady change a flat tire, give your friends a ride. But when your friends start asking you to do everything, and they never do anything for you in return, you might want to re-evaluate being so nice.

But hey, if you want to be a push-over who's always getting walked all over, and never getting ahead in life, then more power to you. But mark my words, you WILL eventually get tired of being taken advantage of and start to harden up.

[98goldbird]

Originally posted by camaro_speedemon:
Like I said, get back to me in 6 years and see how much your views on life have changed.

Putting up walls is a self defence mechanism, yes. It's called learning from your mistakes. If you keep touching a hot stove, would you not learn that it hurts and stop doing it?

I used to fall for girls so easily when I was younger. Then of course, we'd break up and I would be completely devistated. I would then get extremely depressed and it would be months before I recovered. I eventually started learning to build up a wall to I didn't get hurt as easily. But I guess me learning from my mistakes makes me weak.

Building up walls doesn't mean you can't be nice any more dude. It just shows you have a set balls and won't let yourself be taken advantage of. To this day, I have never met a girl who would date a pushover. Girls want a person who is confident in themselves, not someone who rolls over all the time. I never had a successful relationship when I was a pushover. It wasn't until I started acting overly confident in myself is when I started having successful relationships.

BTW, You also fall into a different catagory. You're a virgin who is waiting for marraige. That puts you into the same catagory as gay guys, the unobtainable male. Girls are used to having control over men, they are the holders of the warm apple pie. By you not wanting sex, you take that power away from them. They see you as a challenge and will try and break you.

A little secret for the rest of you. The same applies, girls are used to having the power. You have to seem slightly uninterested in them. Give them the illusion that you dont want them. They will start thinking why can't they get you, and then start chasing you.

Help that old lady change a flat tire, give your friends a ride. But when your friends start asking you to do everything, and they never do anything for you in return, you might want to re-evaluate being so nice.

But hey, if you want to be a push-over who's always getting walked all over, and never getting ahead in life, then more power to you. But mark my words, you WILL eventually get tired of being taken advantage of and start to harden up.

Sorry Tim, but in some way, I kinda like what he has to say, as his points do make sense. But, I do question the type of girl he goes for. Remember, everyone is attracted to a different set of characteristics that are portrayed in a girl. If I'm with my buddies, and some group of girls walk by, I might say one is cute, but my friend will just go, "eh." I actually think its just a matter of finding a girl who's done with all the game playing and BS, has matured past societie's influences, and understands who you are as a person and your walk in life. Find that girl, you've found [img]graemlins/love.gif[/img] ;)

[98goldbird]

Oh, and in what point of a relationship are we all talking about???

Just meeting the girl?
Dating her for a couple of weeks?
Dating her for a couple of months?
Boyfriend / Girlfriend status?

Cuz each scenario is different!

[BiH]

Originally posted by 12secondv6:
Hmmmm, sorry to hear.

I've always tried to be the nice guy.
I sit by and watch the @ssholes get the ladies.
Should I become an @sshole to get a lady??? Nah!

I'll continue being myself.

I'll continue being the nice guy

X2 :(

[Ender2664]

See now you were talking about different walls then he is. He is talking about putting up the kind of walls that change the core charactoristic of who you are and what you do, my advice is specific to him and his situation, not to everyone. I agree that you need to learn from you mistakes, but his mistake isn't that he needs to stop being honest...he is learning the wrong thing and destroying a good part of his moral fiber and charactor if he walls that part of himself up, which will do no one any good.

I understand the analogy but please don't ever compare me with a gay person.

And i am sorry but i think that you secret is immmature and horrible. To have a ture relationship where true love will come, you don't have power over one and another you are completely open with one and other and tell eachother what you are feeling exactly when you are feeling, so that you can be completly comfortable and harbor no resentment towards you partner in any way shape of from...i completely disagree with trying to get power in a relationship, all it does is lead to discontent on one side or the other. But like Matt said it all depends on the stage of the relationship that you are in, i don't fully open up like that until we are offical, before that i am my cool, comfortable, confident, Camaro driving (well not right now) self that people seem to know and love. Even then i don't try to gain control, but i or play games. But after the relationship starts i lay it all out on the table and make sure that there isn't going to be ANY game playing or anything of that sort in the relationship, cause all of that stuff is for immature highschoolers.

[JusFlyinBy]

All this nice guy bickering seems way off topic here, but, I guarantee that the reason all you "Nice guys" can't get the girl is because you are too timid to make a move, not because you are "nice". Nice guys are generally quiet and shy and the girl is going to become uninterested if you tool around for too long cause your too afraid to move in. If you had any confidence, you'd have the A-holes beat because now not only do you treat them well, but you have the confidence they find in these A-holes also.

Think about it Nice Guys... Grab a beer or two to loosen yourselves up a bit, approach the girl and have the confidence to be a little more forward but still be the nice guy you are.

And back on topic Bandit... Batmobile said it best with, "Shes just doing what women do". Now ya know better. Live and learn and now you'll know better for your next girl. Good luck.