Tweet
My dad forwarded me this email, I normally hate these things, but this was one of the better ones.
> How to speak about women and still be politically correct
>
> 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
>
> 2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
>
> 3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
>
> 4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
> INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
>
> 5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
>
> 6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
>
> 7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
> INCONVENIENCED."
>
> 8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "SURGICALLY ENHANCED."
>
> 9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
>
> 10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
>
> 11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
>
> 12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
>
>
>
> How to speak about men and still be politically correct
>
> 1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
> FACILITY."
>
> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN".
>
> 3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
> DESTINATIONS."
>
> 4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
>
> 5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "TRANS-GENERATIONAL
> RELATIONSHIPS."
>
> 6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
> HORIZONTAL."
>
> 7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ***" - He develops a case of
> "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
>
> 8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
>
> 9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
>
> 10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
>
> 11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR
> CLEAVAGE."
>
> 12. He doesn't jump to conclusions - he suffers from PED ("PREMATURE
> EVALUATION DISORDER")
> How to speak about women and still be politically correct
>
> 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
>
> 2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
>
> 3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
>
> 4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
> INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
>
> 5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
>
> 6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
>
> 7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
> INCONVENIENCED."
>
> 8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "SURGICALLY ENHANCED."
>
> 9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
>
> 10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
>
> 11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
>
> 12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
>
>
>
> How to speak about men and still be politically correct
>
> 1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
> FACILITY."
>
> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN".
>
> 3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
> DESTINATIONS."
>
> 4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
>
> 5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "TRANS-GENERATIONAL
> RELATIONSHIPS."
>
> 6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
> HORIZONTAL."
>
> 7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ***" - He develops a case of
> "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
>
> 8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
>
> 9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
>
> 10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
>
> 11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR
> CLEAVAGE."
>
> 12. He doesn't jump to conclusions - he suffers from PED ("PREMATURE
> EVALUATION DISORDER")
Comment