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im now 3 inches tall and the bigest SOB eva

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  • im now 3 inches tall and the bigest SOB eva

    I have known my current gf for years. We knew each other in hs and stayed in touch after, college etc. She had married a dude who was back then one of my closest friends and they had two kids together. I sorta lost touch when she went into the A.F. to support them because he turned out to be worthless and we no longer were on speaking terms. Fast forward to now.
    A year ago he had kicked her out and around christmas she and I became reaquainted. Started dating and everything was cool. H e finds out that she is dating someone and all of a sudden he wants her back. She doesnt want to but he threatens to do ll kinds of crazy sh!t (suicide, killing he mutual friend of ours that she was staying with etc...) so she goes back.
    I had left my apt. and was livin with the 'rents in order to save a down payment for the house i had been hunting for years and so my rents gave her an out. "If you want to leave him do it, pack your stuff and move in with us." She did it. Everything was cool, I was closing on my house life was normal.
    She had warned me when we first hooked up that se came with a lot of baggage. Two kids, crazy ex, the whole nine yards. I thought; "no prob. I can handle it." Well months down the road and I was wrong. My timing couldn't be worse. I've only been in my new house for 3 weeks.
    I tried and i was wrong. I can't handle having two kids that aren't mine. I can't handle having someone sleep next to me and talk in their sleep and tell me that its all my fault, that her ex would never have got custody if it weren't for me, or that if she went back she would be unhappy but she could have her kids. After a while such things start to depress you, and start to make your waking hours a torment. Here you are next to a woman who acts loving and kind and content but yet you know that tonight as you drift to sleep her nightmares and speeches will continue. I can't handle a lot of things (that i am not going to go into detail about here) and I was wrong and I am sorry and... and...
    I spelled it all out in a letter to her because i knew that if i tried to tell her in person and she started to break down i would never be able to go through with it. Hurting her was the last thing that i had ever wanted to do. That's why i was never abe to tell her before now. It never seemed the right time, she was upset and i didnt want to make it worse, or she was happy and i didn't want to make her sad. There never seemed to be a right time.
    Time passed and I grew more unhappy and still couldn't bring myself to tell her because it would upset her. She was happy that i was closing, she was re-arranging and decorating. It was never time.
    So I wrote the letter figuring that i would be better to do it now instead of later when my own discontent would breed animosity between us. I left it for her to read and when i came back home discuss. So i came home and she cried and i almost took it all back and wanted to act as if nothing was wrong, anything to keep her being upset, but I didn't. She cried and said that she couldn't be mad at me for not loving her or her kids. That we can't go back to the way it was and be friends because while i may not love her, she loves me.
    So there i was; defeated with never a punch thrown and nothing for a defense except a lame "I'm sorry" & "I never meant to hurt you". And now here i sit 12am typing my problems out in cyberspace and feeling like an intruder in my own house. She has removed everything that she owns into one of the kids bedrooms, says she'll find a place and be gone by the end of the week.
    I feel three inches tall and like the biggest rat bastard, cowardly piece of sh!t, pansy, sh!t heel on the face of the planet.
    <a href=\"http://cardomain.com/id/fantomfreke\" target=\"_blank\">http://cardomain.com/id/fantomfreke</a> <br />** Bad American **<br /><br />*2000 F150 4x4 off road*<br /><a href=\"http://cardomain.com/id/fantomfrekesford\" target=\"_blank\">http://cardomain.com/id/fantomfrekesford</a>

  • #2
    Sorry man. I dunno what to say. I probably come from drastically different perspective. Relationships are tough to start with, but even tougher when you've been intimate with them.... it makes you "one" in mind and spirit in a way that makes it horrible to seperate.

    I'd love to help but I don't want to offer advice or a viewpoint that isn't wanted.. If you'd like to talk about it email me and we can talk on there or I'll talk to you on MSN or AOL if you send me that. Hope you feel better man.
    Black 1997 Camaro RS<br />Mods: Headlight, Fog Lamp, Blinker, and Tail Light Blackouts<br />35% Tint Window Armor (www.windowarmorusa.com)<br />Upcoming: Replace failing driver\'s window motor and Black Power Antenna<br /> <a href=\"http://members.ca

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    • #3
      I like writing emails too, feel free to unload. My condolences anyway...
      www.RedLineVSix.com || 1996 Camaro, 15.159@92.5mph

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      • #4
        "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never was"-DMX
        -235/4517 Chrome Mondera Solaris<br />-Hornet remote start-keyless entry<br />-Pioneer 8400/CD/MP3<br />-2 Audiobahn 10\'s in custom box<br />-Flowmaster exhaust-SLP CAI-*180<br /><br />Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity....Tony from \"Snatch\"

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Christian:
          "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never was"-DMX
          Amen to that

          But I think you still love her you wouldn't feel so bad if you didn't. Maybe if you want I could suggest some counseling. Sounds like you still think the world of her and probably so does she. You never know it might be worth the effort.
          2002 M5 Bright Metallic Silver <br />*Fully loaded and modded<br /><br />2005 GSXR 750<br />*Micron Serpent Race Exhaust *K&N Filter *Power Commander *Trying to hit 200 MPH!<br /><br />1970 SS 454 Chevelle Cortez Silver<br />*It can pass anything but a gas station

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          • #6
            Well to be perfectly honest, you shouldnt have done it in the first place. Good luck to you, I have been in situations not exactly similar, but that feeling is the same.

            You made the choice that was right for you, and dont let that get you down. There comes a time when people have to be selfish in order to survive. Amd theres not a damn thing wrong with that.
            1998 Firebird 3.8, A4<br />Mods: Alum Ds, Yank TC 2800 stall, Rksport lid, FTRA, SLP air temp sensor, K&N, Flowmaster catback 2.5\" w/cutout, 3:42 gears w/LSD<br />Best E/T: 15.6 @ 86 mph (w/o gears / lsd or verter)<br />Best 60: 2.234<br /><a href=\"http://www.teamfoxfire.iwarp.com\" target=\"_blank\">www.teamfoxfire.iwarp.com</a> -- club site<p>To come?: l67 piston package hardened, turbo? spray? low 12\'s? well see

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Blue Flame V6:
              But I think you still love her you wouldn't feel so bad if you didn't.
              No way, you can feel really bad about something, doesn't mean you're in love. If you have all these feelings, you did the right thing. Just be grateful the kids aren't yours.
              - JT3<br />1998 Red V6 Camaro Y87 Y3F - J.E.T. Chip Stage II - Clear Parking Lights - Removed Grill - K&N - Whisper Lid - !FRA MOD - MAF Screen Removed - Pro 5.0 - Pacesetter Headers - Magnaflow Catback - 32mm Front Swaybar - And A System(bump bump)

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