The Conservative / Liberal Dictionary

[FirebirdGT]

The Conservative Dictionary

ACLU
Bad, because they defend parts of the Bill of Rights

NRA
Good, because they defend parts of the Bill of Rights

Criminal
Someone who breaks the law, unless the law has anything to do with guns, selling arms to Iran, or refusing to pay your taxes. In those cases, you are a...

Victim of society
Any white male, especially a conservative one, who are suffering now more than any other race in all history.

Leech, Welfare bum/queen
Any person on the government dole, EXCEPT for corporations receiving tax write-offs, ranchers and farmers receiving subsidies, and defense contractors.

Libertarianism
Survival of the fittest, and if you don't like it, you don't deserve to survive

Liberal
Anyone who shows human compassion, or reads the New York Times

Christian
Anyone who is a member of the Christian Coalition

Godless Atheist
Anyone who is not a member of the Christian Coalition

The Homosexual Agenda
Gay people exercising their rights to free speech and to petition the government for redress of grievances

Grassroots citizens' movement
Conservative people exercising their rights to free speech and to petition the government for redress of grievances

Republican Party
A political party which welcomes all conservatives, as long as they are pro-life, pro-gun, and anti everything else.

Democratic Party
Communists

Gays, Feminists, Environmentalists, Immigrants, Blacks
These didn't exist until they were invented by liberals back in the 1960's

Washington
The heart of the Evil Empire.

Bureaucrat
A Democrat working for the government.

Public Servant
A Republican working for the government.

Rush Limbaugh
The leading conservative intellectual (do I really need to insert a snide comment here?)

Extremist
Bill Clinton

Moderate
Pat Robertson

Guns and Ammo magazine
Pornography for conservatives

Our Founding Fathers
The true heroes who persevered and founded a nation conceived in liberty, and who also share identical beliefs with Rush Limbaugh.

Religion
What should be taught at public schools instead of science

Evolution
A kooky cult started by Charles Darwin

Jesus Christ
An conservative Republican leader to whom some erroneously attribute the phrases "love thy neighbor" and "turn the other cheek" to.

Ronald Reagan
The greatest President ever.

Abraham Lincoln
Was a Republican when the party began 140 years ago, so he can be forgiven for freeing the slaves and suppressing states' rights.

States rights
The right for individual states to pass conservative laws without interference from Washington. Note: does not apply if states pass liberal laws.

Judicial activism
What liberal judges do.

Sound jurisprudence
What conservative judges do

Pro-lifer
One who is willing to kill to preserve life.

Traditional Values
The classic values and morals that made America great, such as lynching blacks, beating up gays, and keeping the "little woman" barefoot and pregnant.

Pro-family politician
Any thrice-divorced Republican congressman late on child-support payments who is against gay marriage

Criminals Rights
Should be ignored unless said criminal is a member of wacko religious cult or is firearms dealer.

Liberal (2)
A conservative who has been arrested

Liberal media
Anything to the left of the American Spectator, G. Gordon Liddy, or Rush Limbaugh

Public Broadcasting
Rush Limbaugh (historical note: Newt Gingrich actually said this!)

Family Values
A mother and father who vote Republican raising two kids who attend a private school in the suburbs and attend a conservative church.

Subversive elements in society
Bookstores, coffeehouses, art galleries, and anything inside the city limits of a major American city.

RKBA
The Right to Kill and Bomb Americans

Special Rights
Constitutional rights for minorities you don't like.

Islamic Fundamentalism
The greatest threat to the Integrity of our Beloved Nation.(Fact: Limbaugh has said this on many an occasion)

Christian Fundamentalism
The greatest hope for the Integrity of our Beloved Nation.

Religion
Conservative Biblical literalism.

Cult
An institution that is not a RELIGION (see above).

Scholarship
Any work such as The Bell Curve, The American Spectator, or The Limbaugh Letter.

Liberal Ideology
Anything espoused in the work of Stephen Jay Gould, Noam Chomsky, or The Nation.

Big Government
Federal social programs that attempt to construct a more rational, fair society.

Proper Government
Billions upon billons of tax dollars wastefully spent on inefficient and otherwise prohibitively costly defense contracts, subsidies and tax breaks for corporations, and "The War on Drugs."


The Liberal Dictionary

Soviet Union- The workers' utopia that failed because the right people weren't in charge.

Public Interest- A liberal cause.

Special Interest- A conservative cause

Democracy- Letting us liberals choose your leaders

Peace- When all opposition to the socialist movement has been silenced through propaganda, imprisonment or violence

Truth- A bit of information which is manipulated into what liberals want you to think

Religious Extremist- One who holds to any set of ideologies that does not accept or coincide with the socialist or atheistic worldviews

Racism- Any disagreement that a white person may have with someone else who is not white

Civil Liberties- Rights that are given and can be easily revoked by the government

Loophole- Giving a conservative a special tax break

Target Tax Cut- Giving a liberal a special tax break

Racist- White Person

Hate-Speech- A Republican's/Christian's/Conservative's lips are moving

Free Speech- The speech of liberals

Free Press- All media except Fox News and Talk Radio

Blacklisting and Hate Mongering- Conservative speech

Homosexual- alternative lifestyle

Heterosexual- artificial gender role

Capital Punishment- Murder
Abortion- Choice

Ecomomic Growth- Opression

Government Growth- Prosperity

Racist/Bigot/Homophobe/Nazi/Fascist- Anyone winning an arguement against a liberal

Clear and Present Danger- Guns in hands of law abiding citizens

Global Warming-Yuppies driving SUVs

Gun control- Diane Feinstien and Robustly Abominable [Rosie O'Donnell] can have one, but not you

Intolerance- Disagreement with a liberal's point of view

Mean spirited- Anyone who subscribes to the notion, "love the sinner, hate the sin"

Uncle Tom-
1. A black male who is not a victim
2. A black male who is not liberal
3. A black male who doesn't listen to Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and the NAA(L)CP

Death Penalty-
1. The process by which future electoral majorities are lost.
2. The shameful process by which true entrepreneurs are mercilessly cast out of the system for their refusal to live by the restrictions of society.

Mexico- A reserve of convenient votes to be tapped as necessary.

Politically Correct- A style of speech devised solely to be continually one step ahead of Republicans and evolving to be continually one step ahead of any form of common sense whatsoever.

Sexual Relations- Any form of physical contact not involving physical contact.

Undocumented Immigrant- Illegal aliens

Mean-spirited- The tendency to disagree with a liberal

Bipartisanship- When conservatives give in to everything liberals want

Campaign Finance Reform- What needs to happen when Republicans find legitimate ways to raise more money than Democrats

Civil Rights- What everyone should have except conservatives

Compromise- When conservatives do everything liberals want

Conservative- Someone who wants to starve children and old people, destroy the environment, shoot everyone with their assault gun, run over others with their SUV, dump toxic waste in everyone else's swimming pool, and become one of The Richest 1% of Taxpayers.

The Constitution- A document written by a bunch of Dead White Males that needs to become a "living document" every time liberals don't get their way, and followed to the letter when they do.

Disenfranchisement- What happens when the liberal candidate loses the election.

Hate Speech-
1. Anything spoken by a conservative that even remotely implies Politically Correct People deserve anything less than sainthood.
2. Anytime a conservative says something that disagrees with a liberal.

McCarthyism - When average Americans exercise their right to boycott celebrities who make anti-American statements.

Media Bias- The right-wing slant of The Washington Times, National Review, Rush Limbaugh and Fox News Channel.

Negative Campaigning- Telling the truth about a liberal candidate.

Oil- What it's really about whenever a conservative deploys American troops.

The Poor- Anyone who will vote for liberals but can't make a donation to the DNC

Recession- Any time a conservative is President.

Right-wing Extremist-
1. Any Appellate or Supreme Court nomination by a conservative President.
2. Anyone who disagrees with a liberal.

Special Interests- Any group of people who say things liberals don't like

Spending cut- Any time a Federal Program doesn't get as much money as liberals want

Tax cut- Whenever The Rich don't have their tax burden at least doubled

Tax Hike- Whenever The Poor don't get their refund on taxes they never payed

Unfair- Whenever liberals don't get their way

Unilateral- Any time one nation in the world objects to military action taken by the U.S., even if every other country in the world supports us

Need- When someone wants someone else's money.

Greed- When someone wants to keep their money.

[95Batmobile]

Laziness - 98% of the members who look at how long that post is and decide not to read it [img]smile.gif[/img]

[loser]

i read it all, hoesntly i knew alot of them , definatly more than half.it was interesting, thanks robert.

[malice10985]

I share your political opinions, but why are you starting all of these controversial threads? Did you get a small tax return this year or something?

[95fbirdkid]

Originally posted by malice10985:
I share your political opinions, but why are you starting all of these controversial threads? Did you get a small tax return this year or something?

I agree, this thread was kind of out of the blue, but if everyone can play nice togeather its alllll good :D

[FirebirdGT]

The problem is that the people who champion each side actually see each other this way. How sad for us all. Both are radical, and a problem.

[3.4 slow to go]

Neal Boortz and Michael Savage are good thought provokers.

[Infernal]

Originally posted by FirebirdGT:
The problem is that the people who champion each side actually see each other this way. How sad for us all. Both are radical, and a problem.

I agree, but I also believe that a vast majority of politically minded American's are more centric in their views. The media and pundit-propaganda shows us the far right and far left extremes, and of course on the Internet we also get a healthy dose of extremes from the koolaid drinkers on both sides of the spectrum simply because those are the people that are more likely to migrate to use the Internet as a sounding board.

[98goldbird]

That's why instant runoff voting should be implemented into our elections. Why is it that Bush beat Gore with 48%? That's saying, half of the country didn't want him elected. Same goes for Gore though too, more than half the country didnt want him to win. IRV will take care of a LOT, especially campaign contributions, as they will most likely not be as much of an impact.

[3.4 slow to go]

Why not have presidential elections go for 24hrs to allow everyone ample time to vote, and not let right coast projections affect left coast turnout?

[Mighty Thor]

You made it too obvious. We definately know where you stand. You made liberals sound so rosy and conservatives so thorny.

I don't go about putting myself on any category. There are certain things that I'm conservative about and certain things that I'm liberal about. But if you put yourself on only one category then you got no real thinking of your own.

[98goldbird]

^ ^ ^ Try telling that to our politicians :rolleyes:

[mike h]

We think our government is the best in the world, yet at any point in our history we have about 50% of the population disagreeing with the white house. I think McCain should run for president, he doesn't make desicions based on party but on common sense. Let's not ban abortion outright, but it is allowed in this situations, etc.

[3.4 slow to go]

^^ Making decisions based on what's popular is mob rule. Do you really want that??? Hey, let do a poll and find out :rolleyes:

[FirebirdGT]

Originally posted by Mighty Thor:
You made it too obvious. We definately know where you stand. You made liberals sound so rosy and conservatives so thorny.

If you are refering to my original post, I didn't write it. The "Conservative" came off a liberal website, the "Liberal" came off a conservative website. I think they insult each other pretty well.