Anyone else have the nice guy/shy guy syndrome and are tired of it? (rant)

[Trunks]

God damn i'm ****ing tired of being the nice guy, seems like i get no respect and no girls, i think i'm gonna start being a ****ing **hole, at least the girls seem to like the a**holes. It doesn't exactly help that i'm shy and dont have a lot of confidence, mainly from 1st-8th grade with people making fun of my weight that **** really cuts you down badly....especially with confidence with the female population. It also doesn't help when people say "you dont have a chance with someone like that." Like today at work i was just being nice to one of the new people there who happens to be a girl...a very good looking girl, but she has a b/f and i respect that so i'm not gonna hit on her or nothing, then one of my co-workers who i get along fine with and respect (because i respect everyone, especially if i have to work with them so there is no problems while on the job)and i dont tease or make fun of him or anything and a little bit after i was talking to this girl he says "dude, dont try, you dont have a ****ing chance in hell with her." At first i just kind of shrugged it off and said "yea i know i dont, she has a boyfriend" and hes like "oh, she has a boyfriend huh?" and gets this huge smile on his face like he's planning something. Then later i got to thinking, i was thinking "you know what, he's right i dont have a chance with her, i dont have a chance with any girl, i dont know why i even try, i'm ****ing hopeless" and get all pissed/upset/depressed about it becuase like i said i dont have a whole lot of confidence to begin with, and comments like that dont exactly help.
Main point, i ****ing hate a**holes and also i'm ****ing hopeless

rant done

Edit: this guy that said that is so a**hole-y and arrogant that a couple days ago he actually said this

Him: "Man, i gotta stop wearing abercrombie"
Me: "Why?"
Him: "Because there's too many fat and gay people wearing them" (he wasn't saying it about me...since i dont wear abercrombie anyway... but saying it about customers in the store)

[ June 07, 2004, 10:59 PM: Message edited by: Trunks ]

[RallyRed 98]

nothing to do with being a nice guy or shy guy... you just gotta play their game and beat them at it. once you figure it out, there's nothing to it.

don't call back
don't call first
don't sound happy or sad

those are probably the first 3 rules i can think of off the top of my head. with an attitude like "i'm hopeless!" you're right, you are hopeless. thomas edison didn't say "man, i'm hopeless!" after his many, MANY failed attempts at creating an incandescent bulb. he made little strides each time, and that's what you're going to have to do.

[kamarozrule]

Originally posted by RallyRed 98:


don't call back
don't call first
don't sound happy or sad

word

[Bluebird]

Yep, those three work best for the nice/shy guy!

[img]graemlins/rock.gif[/img]

[ravenp]

At least you've identified the problem... that's the first step. Anyone who thinks the problem is with the other person involved is always wrong ;)

You have to get some confidence... i'm no therapist, but you've mentioned your weight a few times.

My advice(again not a therapist), is get on a low-carb diet, exercise 4 days a week and you'll see yourself transform so fast I DARE you not to get confident!

[Tobes]

Show'em your bird, that always helps too.

[img]graemlins/naughty.gif[/img]

[WishIHad$$$]

"Treat 'em like **** and they'll love ya"

[img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]

[BobsSilverSix]

Dude we are brothers Trunk, same prob here. It's ok I got a sweet prom date and that kinda helped me out in that feild. -Bob-

[Camarolover98]

Check out this website...Lots of dating tips and other cool stuff, specifically for guys...

AskMen.com

Why Women Don't Like Shy Guys

Women Want Sensitive Jerks


Seriously, check this site out. It has a lot of good info for any situation (dating, relationships, break-ups, and other stuff besides love). The stuff they say in there has really worked for me, so there's really no reason why it can't help anyone else...

[hawgs]

Originally posted by BobsSilverSix:
Dude we are brothers Trunk, same prob here. It's ok I got a sweet prom date and that kinda helped me out in that feild. -Bob-

No more mentions of your weight? I am so sad. :(

[ka50]

Originally posted by Trunks:
God damn i'm ****ing tired of being the nice guy, seems like i get no respect and no girls, i think i'm gonna start being a ****ing **hole, at least the girls seem to like the a**holes. It doesn't exactly help that i'm shy and dont have a lot of confidence, mainly from 1st-8th grade with people making fun of my weight that **** really cuts you down badly....especially with confidence with the female population. It also doesn't help when people say "you dont have a chance with someone like that." Like today at work i was just being nice to one of the new people there who happens to be a girl...a very good looking girl, but she has a b/f and i respect that so i'm not gonna hit on her or nothing, then one of my co-workers who i get along fine with and respect (because i respect everyone, especially if i have to work with them so there is no problems while on the job)and i dont tease or make fun of him or anything and a little bit after i was talking to this girl he says "dude, dont try, you dont have a ****ing chance in hell with her." At first i just kind of shrugged it off and said "yea i know i dont, she has a boyfriend" and hes like "oh, she has a boyfriend huh?" and gets this huge smile on his face like he's planning something. Then later i got to thinking, i was thinking "you know what, he's right i dont have a chance with her, i dont have a chance with any girl, i dont know why i even try, i'm ****ing hopeless" and get all pissed/upset/depressed about it becuase like i said i dont have a whole lot of confidence to begin with, and comments like that dont exactly help.
Main point, i ****ing hate a**holes and also i'm ****ing hopeless

rant done

my sn is MiG142, if you want to know what to do to change your life and get those girls, IM me.

[MustangEater8251]

Originally posted by Tobes:
Show'em your bird, that always helps too.

[img]graemlins/naughty.gif[/img]

I showed a girl the bird once, then she slapped me... :(

[Machiavelli]

Originally posted by RallyRed 98:

don't call back
don't call first
don't sound happy or sad

This is horrible advice. [img]graemlins/slap.gif[/img]
If you dont call, she's NOT going to call you - I promise. Girls want to be pursued. However, they also dont want to think they can have you anytime or else you'll be put on the backburner and eventually end up as "just a friend" :(

Dont give the girl too much attention.. this includes everything from compliments to just talking to her too much - this is where most "nice guys" think theyre being nice, when in fact it gives the girl the idea that if you ever were to hook up youd be totally overbearing. Also, if you act like she's SOOO hot or out of your league - she'll believe it and she will be. Instead, act like you could have HER anytime you want - but that youre just not sure of her yet.

Next, looks matter to girls... just not as much as looks matter to guys. You know youve seen a hot girl and thought "how the hell did that ugly *** guy get w/ her?" its because he showed self confidence and made her THINK he was more attractive than he really is.

With that little bit let me go through what has worked for me.. Im not saying its full proof or that this is the ONLY way to do stuff but here goes:
Figure out what kind of girls you like... whether it be punk, goth, preppy, high maintnence, low maintnence etc etc.
You have to be the guy that that type is interested in... lets go for preppy high maintnence girls as an example. I pick this type of girl b/c thats what Im exposed to the most... high maintnence isnt as bad as it sounds either.
Good personal hygiene, neat and fashionably dressed/groomed... but thats only part. You also have to get the balls to talk to a girl and the ability to continue a conversation for as long as you need it to take.
Anything that you think to yourself "haha this would be funny" is probably immature and would be a bad way to go up and start talking to the girl. Introducing yourself and asking some basic questions is a lot better.
Now, dont act like you have all the time in the world to talk to her... be quick. If you want to see her again say "Look, I gotta go... lemme call you (if you work in the same building, live in the same dorm/area at school, or can arrange an easy similar way to "drop by" face to face this is MUCH better) later". Then without any hesistation add "How about [insert day thats later than tomorrow but notm more than 3days] because Im super busy until then"
When she says yes, which she most certainly will do, MAKE SURE YOU DO WHAT YOU SAY or else youre an ******* - and I promise you *******s do not get anymore girls than "nice guys".

Now things you want her to know about you when you finally get a good conversation going:
you are close to your family
you have a decent ammount of money
you have goals and plan on achieving them

NEVER be negative or derogatory towards anything in these first encounters, instead act like nothing really bothers you and you always get what you want.

It'll take a bit of time but as you talk to more girls you will become more confident and as you become more confident you will become more successful...
good luck, hope I helped... if you have any questions dont hesitate to ask.

[Machiavelli]

Also, NEVER tell a girl she is hot.
Instead, the next time you see her if she looks like she put a good ammount of time into her appearance say "oh you look nice today" and keep on truckin with the conversation.... DO NOT sit there like a complete douche bag waiting for her to say thank you - she heard it. Girls dont like strings anymore than anyone else, so if you start to send out clingy or overbearing signals youre gonna lose out.

[hawgs]

I agree 100% with Machiavelli, actually... I wrote that.