Why can't I just go to work & be happy? (long)

[MTMike]

I have a great job. It pays very well for the area, the benefits are excellent, the fringe benefits are even better, I work with awesome people, it's close to home so I can ride my bike most days (weather depending), I enjoy what I do, etc etc.

But I'm not happy. It's still a JOB. I've never been happy at any job, I just hate this one less than any other I've had.

Because of this, 4 years ago I started a business with the hopes of becoming self employed some day. It's the only thing I ever wanted to do and the only way I saw myself being happy and successful at the same time. The business has shown awesome success this year, to the point where I talked to my boss about going part time becuase I couldn't keep up with the business and continue to work full time. He seemed hesitant but supportive of the idea, so I went to part-time hours at my current position, knowing that I'd have to change positions soon to continue at part time hours, becuase my position is budgeted as a full-time slot. Things were going great with me part time, I actually had time to meet with clients, work on their stuff and still had a vew hours to spend with my wife, and even some me time! It was a blessing!

So I applied for a supposedly part-time position within the company, and long-story short I didn't get it because they decided to budget it as a full-time and couldn't justify loosing the funds from corporate to make it a part-time. So I was left with a choice. Come crawling back to full time, to keep my "guaranteed" income and health insurance, or quit and either find a new job or try to make it on the business alone (which isn't bringing in quite enough $ for that yet). So with a 2 mortgages, 3 car payments, and a cancer-surviving college-student wife I kissed-*** all back to full-time status in my current position, all while being told how I didn't do myself any favors in the company, blah blah blah.

So now I'll be back to not having enough time for the business again, working til 1am & 2am on the business to turn around and get up at 7am and go to work for 8 hours, spending all weekend working on the business - bascially working 18 hrs a day, 7 days a week. I don't want to turn away business because I know it's the only way I'll be happy, but at the same time, there's no way I can quit and go at it full time... at least with any financial security.

I know what I need to do to be happy, I know how to get there, and hell, the bridge across the canyon to get there is right in front of me... I just can't cross right now because my "backpack" is too heavy for me to make it across the bridge safely.

So I raise the question again... why can't I just go to work and be happy? Why is it necessary for me to be self employed to be happy? Why is just and hourly wage not enough for me? Why can't I just get my arse out of bed each morning, put in my 8 and be thankful that I'm even able to work?

Thanks for listening....

[shenanigans]

Jsut don't set it on fire...


hard to say. I know my job sucks, but what I have noticed around work(we have a high turnover rate) Seems the workplace attitude has alot to do it.

When everyone is around thinking about how bad they hate work, etc.. etc... seems like everyone is miserable at work.

But when we goof off and joke around, not think of work sucking, we actually get more work done faster and enjoy the whole day.

Not sure if it helps but might make work less painful for ya...

[jola]

i think the same way, kinda. most of the jobs i've had, i've hated. its not really the same i guess, since most of my jobs have been part time. i agree with shenanigans though. i used to work at carvel serving ice cream, not a fun job at all and all the girls there (i was the only guy, which was awesome when there was no garbage that needed to go out or anything demanding any manual labor at all) kinda just ignored me. i just started joking around and stuff, and the time went by so much quicker, and all the chicas liked working with me too [img]smile.gif[/img] . i wound up lastng a year there, until i just got pissed at my boss and quit. even so, i gotta say, you have a crazy opportunity in front of you to do something you like. financial security is awesome, but don't miss out on the life you have with ur wife. personally, i don't think any job is that important. then again, sometimes you don't have a choice. just writing what i think. don't want you to regret anything later on in life. sorry if that was real boring and pointless.

[HokieBird]

The problem is you are ambitious. You see what you want. You even know the path to get to what you want, but you just can't do it right now. This is something you need to think about and discuss with your wife. You aren't happy now, but you are staying there because you want to be a provider and you are scared to make that leap. I doubt there is anything you can do to make your self happy in your job because it just isn't what you really want.

I would also really like to start a personal business on the side and work my way to self employement (I just need to figure out what I want to do), but in a field like graphic design and web design its really hard to be out there on your own and make it. Especially when you are getting started.

Just my 2 cents on the whole situation take what you want from it.

[foff667]

dunno what to tell ya...most normal people IMO consider work-just that-work. What is it you dont like about your job...or is it you just would like to work for yourself more...I personally wish every day that I didnt have to work period. But to make ends meet you need to...I work full time weeks with decent pay & great benefits working for the state & then do side jobs tuning making good money for something that I love doing. Together they pay the bills & I get to meet knew people & maybe help someone that otherwise wouldve been ripped off which that in itself is a good feeling. I make sure to spend time with my family & have been able to save a few pennies in between...imo life is good. I really hope you find whats best for you & it works out in the end.

lata
Bill

[ellik]

Mike - Im in the exact same boat. Have a good job that pays decent, just not one that I enjoy going to anymore. Did for a while, but the team that I worked on changed and I have less control over the projects that Im working on now than I did before, the projects are much more complicated and Im stuck being the one that has to sit down and make things work as apposed to the one whe designs the problems. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Ive been picking up side jobs that arent nearly as exciting to work on, but they are mine and I can handle them however the hell I want. Just not enough of them (yet) to tread down that path by itself.

Hang in there. Sounds like you have started on the path to what you want and are working hard at it. Soon enough you'll be where you want, but if you get too frustrated now and give up it wont happen.

[camaro_speedemon]

I feel ya man. It seems I'm getting to that point with my job and business. The best bet is to just hang in there until you're bringing in enough from your business. You could also raise your prices to support you full time.

[Camarorulz]

You can't be happy because that's not truly what you want to do: some people can be happy working a job under other people, but you strike me as someone who wants to be running his own show. Here's what I would do, throw everything into that business.. you could always get rid of some car payments: if its just you and your wife do you really need three? It will suck right now, but in the long run you'll be making enough money AND doing what you truly want to do, not grinding out 18 hour days to be unhappy.

Good luck either way.

[57s98Camaro]

Life's too short to be doing things you hate, just keep working towards what you want to do and can do it while enjoying it. There will be things you have to do when you need to do them, but that makes way for doing the things you want do to when you want to [img]smile.gif[/img]