Jokes...

[Tyler]

ay yall can all suck my balls!

[vanbibber]

now thats original!/\/\ [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]

[phil97.3.8]

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, and then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated.

When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by and to the gays' delight she points out the happy child as theirs.

"Isn't it wonderful?" one fruitcake says to the other. "All these unhappy children and ours is so happy." The nurse says, "Oh sure, he's happy now. But just watch what happens when we take the pacifier out of his ***."

['98 BlackBird]

ROTFLMAO [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img] that was good

[FireFighter]

Originally posted by phil97.3.8:
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, and then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated.

When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by and to the gays' delight she points out the happy child as theirs.

"Isn't it wonderful?" one fruitcake says to the other. "All these unhappy children and ours is so happy." The nurse says, "Oh sure, he's happy now. But just watch what happens when we take the pacifier out of his ***."

Thats great.

[vanbibber]

[img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]

[shock_core]

ahaha [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]

[95DGcamaro]

lmao [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]

[LD]

what did the father buffalo say to his son before he left for work?


...


...


...


...


bison

[LD]

The Gay Agenda

Author Unknown

I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Fallwell and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. Well, I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. It follows below:

6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 PM Brunch

2:00 PM
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local Governments as well as all other national governments,
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle,
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels,
5) Establish planetary chain of homo breeding gulags where over-medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership,
6) bulldoze all houses of worship, and
7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.

2:30 PM Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 PM Cocktails
6:00 PM Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
8:00 PM Theater
11:00 PM Bed (du jour)"

[KBeezy]

"... you have a shiftlight and your car is an automatic"


...I need a shiftlight, my cars an automatic. But then again, I have to shift mine - reverse valvebody + whatever tranny I have, hehehe.. makes for a lot of fun! =D

[99davenport]

this first one will make you go "aww thats wrong" but here it goes

Whats the difference between catholic priest and acne?
Acne doesn't come on a boys face 'til hes 13

Why are black people so good at basketball?

only game where they can run shoot and steal

[dashboardrunner]

haha...
disclaimer: I am by far not a racist person... i have a couple of friends of the oppostie race... but...

How can you tell if a black man is well hung?


If you can't get your finger between his neck and the noose then hes well hung...

[Yaba3800]

lol. DO NOT GET OFFENDEDPLEASE THE FOLLOWING JOKES ARE OF AN OFFENSIVE AND VULGAR NATURE AND *SHOULD* NOT BE READ BY ANYONE WITH A QUICK TEMPER OR MY ADRESS. *courtesy of www.lotsofjokes.com*

whats the difference between a black man and a pizza?

a pizza can feed a family of four


whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
a pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven.

why dont women wear watches?
because theres a clock on the oven.

whats the difference between an old woman and a young woman? an old woman has a bellybutton between her boobs.

how do you open a beer?
it should be open when she hands it to you.

whats the lightest thing in the world?
a penis..even a thought can raise it

whats the defenition of a yankee?
same as a quickie but you do it yourself.

whats the definition of trust?
two canibals giving each other bl*w jobs

how did pinochio find out he was made of wood?
when his hand caught fire.

what did the pedophile say when he got out of jail?
i feel like a kid again.

what did cinderella do when she got the ball?
gagged.

what do you do when your dishwasher stops working? yell at her

what do you do to a wife who argues with you?
hit her again.

Your mothers so fat that when she wore an "X" jacket a helicopter tried to land on her back.

Your mothers head is so big, it shows up on radar.

Your mothers so fat, when she went to the beach, she was the only one that got a tan.

Your mothers so fat your bath tub has stretch marks.

Your mothers so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

Your mothers so fat, she got a run in her jeans.

Your mothers so fat, she irons her clothes on the driveway.

Your mothers so fat, she sells shade in the summer.

Your mothers so fat, she left the house with high-heels and came back with flip-flops.

[LD]

One hot Saturday afternoon, a man was sitting in his lawn chair in the shade, drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn.

The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at at him, "You should be hung."

He took a drink from his glass of Coors Light, wiped the cold foam from his lips, lifted his darkened Ray Bans and stared directly at this nosey ***** and then calmly replied... "I am, and that's why she cuts the grass."