I need your help

[FRENCH_CAMAROV6]

I 'm writing a letter for a job.
Could you please read it and correct it?


Dear Ms XXXXX,

Your advsertisement on monster.ch has caught my attention.

I am a new technologies oriented computer engineer living in Bordeaux, France.

I have got an excellent knowledge level in Microsoft development products, UML and databases (Oracle, SQL Server, MySQL, Access)

I have contributed to a few websites like www.caisse-epargne.fr , www.cfe-metiers.com (on line French firms creation) or www.amv.fr (Insurance Company) (ASP & COM objects)

I am leading a 3 developpers team on the Caisse d’Epargne Aquitaine Nord intranet project since 1 year (.net technology for bank applications and content management)

I would like to know if you’re still looking for someone because I want an international job to follow my professional experience.

My English is fluent: I’m travelling a lot (USA, Singapore,UK)

You can found my personal resume in French, let me know if you want a translation

You may contact me by phone at +33(0) wxxxxxx

Sincerely Yours

[ June 10, 2004, 06:52 AM: Message edited by: FRENCH_CAMAROV6 ]

[chas]

'i have' instead of 'i have got'

'knowledge of' instead of 'knowledge level in'

3 should be spelled out. 'team of three developers' is more correct.

not 'since 1 year' try 'for the last year'.

drops the parens around the description of your current job. Say something like 'It a .Net application for banks and content management'.

i guess you mean 'online French content creation firms' not 'on line French firm creation'

developers not developpers.

'I am fluent in English. My jobs requires extensive travel to other countries like the United States, Singapore, and United Kingdom.'

you should probably just send along a translated version of your resume.

[FRENCH_CAMAROV6]

Excellent!
Thanks you!

[Silv6]

Originally posted by FRENCH_CAMAROV6:
Excellent!
Thanks you!

Should be Thank You

[token sebring]

I have edited the whole thing for you:)

Originally posted by FRENCH_CAMAROV6:
I 'm writing a letter for a job.
Could you please read it and correct it?


Dear Ms. XXXXX,

Your advertisement on monster.ch has caught my attention.

I am a new technologies-oriented computer engineer living in Bordeaux, France.

I have achieved an excellent knowledge level in Microsoft development products, UML, and databases (Oracle, SQL Server, MySQL, Access)

I have contributed to a number of websites, such as www.caisse-epargne.fr , www.cfe-metiers.com (on line French firms creation) or www.amv.fr (Insurance Company) (ASP & COM objects)

I have been leading a multi-developers team on the Caisse d’Epargne Aquitaine Nord intranet project for the past year (.net technology for bank applications and content management)

I am interested in enhancing my previous professional experience by working in an international atmosphere. I am very interested in this position, and am hoping that you are still reviewing applicants.

My English is fluent as I have travelled a great deal, particularly in the United States, Singapore, and the United Kingdom.

I have attached my resume in French; however, please let me know if you would prefer a translation

You may contact me by phone at +33(0) wxxxxxx

Sincerely Yours

[Red V6 Raider]

Originally posted by FRENCH_CAMAROV6:
You can found my personal resume in French

[img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img] It works on so many levels!!!

[FRENCH_CAMAROV6]

whoa!!! perfect!

[token sebring]

yeah, except I forgot a number of full-stops... oops... just add those in and you'll be all set [img]smile.gif[/img]

[BirdOfPrey01]

Yo Ms. XXXXX!,

What be crackin?

Dis here advertizment on monster.ch got my mind. I be feelin it, fo shizzle.

I be a new technologies-oriented computer pimp living in in my hood of Bordeaux, France REPRESENT!. (props to my homies, and my long lost niqqas)

I got achieved a tight beleef level in Mycrosoft stuff, UML, and databases (Oracle, SQL Server, MySQL, Access) And da word pad.

I did contribute to a numba of websites, like www.caisse-epargne.fr , www.cfe-metiers.com (on da net French cribs creation) or www.amv.fr (Insurance Company) (ASP & COM objects)

I had been stylin a multi-developers crew on da Caisse d’Epargne Aquitaine Nord intranet sheeit fer da past yur (.net technology for cash money applications and da content management)

I be interested in gettin my old profeshonal expurience by kickin it like a pimp in an international atmosphere. I's be very interested in dis position, and I hoping dat you is still reviewing some real gangstas for da work.

My Englash is ghetto as I have been rollin deep a great deal, particularly in the United States aka da USA, Singapore, and the United Kingdom for sho!

I have put my resume in Francais but, listen hurr, let me know if you would prefer a translation

You can get my numba at dis beeyatch +33(0) wxxxxxx

Word Up Your Niqqa

PS.... Wutang! Wutang!


"This is how it should really sound if you want a job"

[oh my Goth]

[img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]

[WishIHad$$$]

Oh snap! [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]