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This is a serious topic. If you are not religious, please do not reply. Anyone who posts any anti-religion flaming responses will be immediately and permanently banned for proving your immaturity. Now that that's out of the way...
Here's the story.
Jennifer and I are both Christian but we are from different sects. She is Catholic and I am Protestant (Lutheran). We haven't been very good about going to church for the almost three years we've been together and we've finally resolved to start attending regularly. Problem is, we don't know which to join.
Our present beliefs...
We are both moderate conservatives with some liberal tendencies. We are both pro-choice and we've been living together for two and a half years--before marriage. As "liberal" and as "open minded" as Lutherans are, even the pastor at my parents' Lutheran church kind of groaned when he heard about that part.
Our backgrounds...
Her mother is Catholic and her father is Methodist. Her mother was always the much more devout of the two, so her way was the only way. Jennifer and her two sisters were raised Catholic and Jenn even went to Catholic high school--the same high school her mother went to.
Both of my parents are Swedish Lutheran but we did not regularly attend church every Sunday when I was growing up. In fact, it was lucky if we even went on Easter or Christmas. My parents today attend every Sunday but for some reason we didn't when I was a kid... not sure why not.
Jenn is obviously much more well-versed in theology than I am, I can't deny that.
Both of us have said that in theory we're open to either branch, it all depends on the character of the local parish.
So here's the problem...
I admit that I am not fully comfortable with going to a Catholic church. Why? Catholics have a reputation (not necessarily true; just a stereotype) of being more exclusive... sort of "you're Catholic or you're nobody". Now, obviously, this all depends on the local parish--I've seen Catholics as open and welcoming as Hare Krishna's.
I prefer Protestantism for two reasons. Its simpler, in that you don't have a lot of the saints, Canon Law, and all sorts of other stuff that Catholics believe in (the stuff that sets Catholicism apart from the rest of Christianity); and because Protestants are reputed to be (again, not necessarily true) more open--"we don't care if you were baptized into our specific faith or not; as long as you accept Jesus then you're welcome to worship here as part of our family".
I'm not just saying this because I'm Protestant; I'm saying it because often its the truth. Protestants are known to be more willing to accept a Catholic than vice versa. In that regard, I think a Protestant parish would accept her more than a Catholic parish would accept me.
Am I off-base here? What should we do? Alternate? Go for one month at a Catholic church, then one month at a Lutheran church, and decide which one we both felt welcomed in?
I'm nervous to the point of terrified around Catholics--I can't help it. I haven't exactly lived the "straight and narrow, black and white, heaven or hell" lifestyle that they seem to be obsessed with. (Heck, "open-minded" Protestants shudder when they hear about me, I'm sure Catholics would have heart attacks.) I don't want to go home from church feeling like a dirty sinner--I want to feel heartened in the knowledge that Christ our Savior forgives me for my many faults and will guide me and help me grow into a better person.
Advice?
EDIT: In your response, please state which of the three options you voted for so I know who's voting for what. I want to see if all of the Catholics say go to a Catholic church and all the Protestants say go to a Protestant church (if that's the case then the poll is useless). If you had a spouse with different beliefs than you, what would you do? What would you do if you were in my/Jenn's shoes?
[ October 28, 2004, 01:08 PM: Message edited by: Stefan ]
Here's the story.
Jennifer and I are both Christian but we are from different sects. She is Catholic and I am Protestant (Lutheran). We haven't been very good about going to church for the almost three years we've been together and we've finally resolved to start attending regularly. Problem is, we don't know which to join.
Our present beliefs...
We are both moderate conservatives with some liberal tendencies. We are both pro-choice and we've been living together for two and a half years--before marriage. As "liberal" and as "open minded" as Lutherans are, even the pastor at my parents' Lutheran church kind of groaned when he heard about that part.
Our backgrounds...
Her mother is Catholic and her father is Methodist. Her mother was always the much more devout of the two, so her way was the only way. Jennifer and her two sisters were raised Catholic and Jenn even went to Catholic high school--the same high school her mother went to.
Both of my parents are Swedish Lutheran but we did not regularly attend church every Sunday when I was growing up. In fact, it was lucky if we even went on Easter or Christmas. My parents today attend every Sunday but for some reason we didn't when I was a kid... not sure why not.
Jenn is obviously much more well-versed in theology than I am, I can't deny that.
Both of us have said that in theory we're open to either branch, it all depends on the character of the local parish.
So here's the problem...
I admit that I am not fully comfortable with going to a Catholic church. Why? Catholics have a reputation (not necessarily true; just a stereotype) of being more exclusive... sort of "you're Catholic or you're nobody". Now, obviously, this all depends on the local parish--I've seen Catholics as open and welcoming as Hare Krishna's.
I prefer Protestantism for two reasons. Its simpler, in that you don't have a lot of the saints, Canon Law, and all sorts of other stuff that Catholics believe in (the stuff that sets Catholicism apart from the rest of Christianity); and because Protestants are reputed to be (again, not necessarily true) more open--"we don't care if you were baptized into our specific faith or not; as long as you accept Jesus then you're welcome to worship here as part of our family".
I'm not just saying this because I'm Protestant; I'm saying it because often its the truth. Protestants are known to be more willing to accept a Catholic than vice versa. In that regard, I think a Protestant parish would accept her more than a Catholic parish would accept me.
Am I off-base here? What should we do? Alternate? Go for one month at a Catholic church, then one month at a Lutheran church, and decide which one we both felt welcomed in?
I'm nervous to the point of terrified around Catholics--I can't help it. I haven't exactly lived the "straight and narrow, black and white, heaven or hell" lifestyle that they seem to be obsessed with. (Heck, "open-minded" Protestants shudder when they hear about me, I'm sure Catholics would have heart attacks.) I don't want to go home from church feeling like a dirty sinner--I want to feel heartened in the knowledge that Christ our Savior forgives me for my many faults and will guide me and help me grow into a better person.
Advice?
EDIT: In your response, please state which of the three options you voted for so I know who's voting for what. I want to see if all of the Catholics say go to a Catholic church and all the Protestants say go to a Protestant church (if that's the case then the poll is useless). If you had a spouse with different beliefs than you, what would you do? What would you do if you were in my/Jenn's shoes?
[ October 28, 2004, 01:08 PM: Message edited by: Stefan ]
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