Tweet
This is probrably a repost but need less to say its funny.
> Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
> these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
>
> Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there...I'm gonna eat
> the next thing that comes outta it's ***."
>
> How many weeds did the Indians have to smoke before they found tobacco?
>
> Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
> crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
>
> Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
>
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
>
> If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,
> why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
>
> Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
> point to their *** when they ask where the bathroom is?
>
> Why does your OB -GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are
> going to look up there anyway?
>
> Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
> both dogs!
>
> What do you call male ballerinas?
>
> Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
>
> If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
>
> If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
> then what is baby oil made from?
>
> If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>
> Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
>
> Why do the "Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the
> same tune?
>
> (Stop singing and read on . . .. . . .. . . . .)
>
> Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
>
> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
> you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
> window?
>
> Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
>
> Why do they call white out white out when you put the white in and not out
>
>Why do you drive in a Parkway, and Park in a Driveway?
>
>Why do the sell packets of hot dogs in packs of 9 and sell buns in packets of 8?
>
>Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injection?
>
>Why do kamikazi pilots wear helmets?
>
>Why do Honda owners think they're better than the rest of the world, but have less diplacement than my pepsi?
>
>If a man farts in the woods, and no one is arround to hear it, does a woman somewhere in the world still make that "eeew" face?
>
>Why is there solar powered flash lights?
>
>Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
>
>What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
>
>Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
>
>If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
>
>Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?
>
>Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
>
>How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
> Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
> these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
>
> Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there...I'm gonna eat
> the next thing that comes outta it's ***."
>
> How many weeds did the Indians have to smoke before they found tobacco?
>
> Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
> crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
>
> Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
>
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
>
> If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,
> why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
>
> Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
> point to their *** when they ask where the bathroom is?
>
> Why does your OB -GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are
> going to look up there anyway?
>
> Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
> both dogs!
>
> What do you call male ballerinas?
>
> Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
>
> If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
>
> If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
> then what is baby oil made from?
>
> If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>
> Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
>
> Why do the "Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the
> same tune?
>
> (Stop singing and read on . . .. . . .. . . . .)
>
> Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
>
> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
> you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
> window?
>
> Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
>
> Why do they call white out white out when you put the white in and not out
>
>Why do you drive in a Parkway, and Park in a Driveway?
>
>Why do the sell packets of hot dogs in packs of 9 and sell buns in packets of 8?
>
>Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injection?
>
>Why do kamikazi pilots wear helmets?
>
>Why do Honda owners think they're better than the rest of the world, but have less diplacement than my pepsi?
>
>If a man farts in the woods, and no one is arround to hear it, does a woman somewhere in the world still make that "eeew" face?
>
>Why is there solar powered flash lights?
>
>Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
>
>What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
>
>Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
>
>If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
>
>Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?
>
>Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
>
>How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Comment