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**Dirty8-un-Dreds** · 04-17-2005, 12:25 AM

for starters I dont know his mom, some are crazy Bihatches that will send them away. But then again your friend isnt giving her much of a choice with the running away thing. I did it once and man let me tell you, that is just about the stupidest thing you can do. You always end up getting found because 17 year olds stand out in a society of adults.

I would tell your friend to be a damn good kid for the next few months, although he may be off. Allot of the time military school is just a threat... but you never know.

AS to the thing with your girlfriend, let me give you a bit of advice (that you might not like). Get away from it and fast. I dated a girl through high school. Got those calls from friends and fos alike. Well four years go by and she leaves me, for a 45 year old. Not to mention having cheated on me countless times (I hear so from her friends) Long story short, I think that allot of your depression may be stemming from relationship stress.

Im a pretty sane guy, but in my last relationship.. I was pushed to my limits. Ended up in the hospital once, and in the autoshop a few more times (tires + welded calipers = bad night) it could have been worse, one of those times I got down I might have actually done something stupid, and for what... some tramp who couldnt care enough about me to keep her panties on.

In my experience, dating before the age of 19 is a mistake (as is 19 sometimes... most of the time... go for those twenty + girls that are not in sororities).

Whether you like it or not you have to weigh the ideas that are in your head along with what you know. Does she give you shady half A$$ed answers, or is she straightforward. Has she lied to you in the past.. allot? But dont let that get you down, whether its true or its not, it hints to a deeper problem with you guys.

I hate to say it but women change allot from 17-20. None of my friends managed to make it through this barrier with their highschool gf's. I thought I had till I found out... on a vacation ... that I paid for hehe. All in all people will take from you what they can, so becareful. And be sure to listen to that warning inside your head, its not always wrong when it comes to questions regarding peoples truths.

That being said, I wish you luck. You sound kind of like me at that age (does that make me sound old.... no im 22) dont do what I did, which is bend to the wants of others. Respect your parents because you will regret certain things said in these years (that and youll need them for college) dont take girls too seriously (because they will change allot from here till college) and find something that makes you really happy. For me it was working out/ chillen with friends/ doughnuts in the bird.... although I wouldnt suggest the latter as I have had too many close calls heh.

[ April 17, 2005, 01:32 AM: Message edited by: Dirty8-un-Dreds ]

**TucsonBird** · 04-17-2005, 12:36 AM

Thanks. I have been trying to hang out with friends a lot more lately, and I was out every night of the week with them, but this thing with my best friend has just got me down, and tonight I couldn't find anyone to hang out with after I dropped him off so now I end up bored at home (bad idea when I feel like this). My g/f is 15, and we haven't been together for long. I can't imagine someone you dated through highscool leave you for a 45 year old, especially if they're as old as you are now. That is crazy. To me age is just a number, but maturity has everything to do with it. But you wouldn't think a 22 yr old and a 45 yr old would be on the same maturity level. I see what you mean with the dating before 19 thing, but being single 4 for years until this relationship drove me crazy, I always felt so lonely. Not seeing my girlfriend for 3 days and not talking to her much doesn't feel much better. I'm never dating another girl that doesn't have a cell phone.

**Fbody3400** · 04-17-2005, 12:39 AM

Dude, ^^^^just because he had a bad expierence with a girl at the age, doesnt mean your girl is the same. Everyone is different. Just because he had one bad expierence, he is giving you advice to not go out with any girls at your age. I find that pretty closed minded.

Seriously, at this age, its trail and error. Your trying to find the right thing for you. If something doesnt work, try something else. Its ok if that girl doesnt work out, go out and find another girl (flirting is instinct, we're made to do it)

Its easy to fall into a stage of depression through these years, but if you step back and take a look at the big picture, theres millions of other high schoolers in this exact situation. Theres other kids you can talk to, not just adults. Plus this board, everyone on here is here to help.

**TucsonBird** · 04-17-2005, 12:55 AM

Originally posted by Fbody3400:
Just because he had one bad expierence, he is giving you advice to not go out with any girls at your age. I find that pretty closed minded.

I understand. This is my 2nd gf, maybe I just don't know enough yet to have a good relationship, but then again maybe I'm just thinking too much about it and everything is fine. I guess the main reason I never seem to get into bf/gf relationships with girls is that I'm too shy.

Originally posted by Fbody3400:
Its easy to fall into a stage of depression through these years, but if you step back and take a look at the big picture, theres millions of other high schoolers in this exact situation. Theres other kids you can talk to, not just adults. Plus this board, everyone on here is here to help.

Thanks. I understand that I am definately not the only one going through this. That's why I had to say something. I contemplated posting about it for awhile. I realize there's a lot of people that go through stuff like this, and our board is pretty diverse, a lot of kids my age, some younger than me, and a lot of adults from 20s to 40s (50+ maybe too? IDK, only been around since Feb really. Would like to get more involved though instead of kind of lurking.) This board is awesome, and I've learned so much about it and it's cool how everyone helps each other with their problems in the Lounge.

BTW, is there never really anyone in chat? Or did I just pick a bad time to come in?

**Dirty8-un-Dreds** · 04-17-2005, 01:24 AM

Originally posted by Fbody3400:
Dude, ^^^^just because he had a bad expierence with a girl at the age, doesnt mean your girl is the same. Everyone is different. Just because he had one bad expierence, he is giving you advice to not go out with any girls at your age. I find that pretty closed minded.

What is meant by that, is that people change simple as that. I havent seen many sucessful relationships come out of high school.

Basically you need to know that if something bad does happen that you are wanted.

as I read what you wrote it reminded me, basically just dont get used. I found it easy to forget what really made me happy, and I got depressed over a long time. After we broke up and I hit the single life I had fun, found out I was wanted and that I truely could find a girl that would respect and love me as much as I did.

I thought I had it, but was young and nieve. Not saying your nieve, but you are young. Relationships when done right, are a happy thing 99 % of the time.

My current gf and I have been dating about six months and not even a fight yet, she loves and respects me and its great. Before I thought that my ex was all I had, and I brooded over it and kept getting worse and worse. But in the end it wasnt worth it at all.

At seventeen its really easy to think you have the love of your life, and easy to get hurt if you dont remeber your self worth, and set boundries between what is yours and what is hers (friends and what no)

maybe its just cali girls but I got that "I dont know what I want right now." speech way more than I wanted it. (oh and I didnt mean dont date at all for 4 years.. thats not very possible.. just take it easy and slow)

and as to your friend, I wouldnt worry about it (if thats possible) spend what time you got (whether its years or a week) to have fun. Id try to keep him out of trouble though if I were you ;)

[ April 17, 2005, 02:29 AM: Message edited by: Dirty8-un-Dreds ]

**jessica2112** · 04-17-2005, 01:25 AM

Hey guy, I know how that stuff goes. Really. Hell I'm 25 and I've been on antidepressents for 6 years now. I didn't want to leave the house or anything. When I first got depressed. Don't be so hard on yourself OK? I saw a shrink when I was 16 because of it, but was so upset at the thought, that I walked home after my mom dropped me off. Looking back I should have gone...anyway girls at that age are loopy. Really, they don't know what they want in life, are confused and scared and hormones are going every which way but where they should. Have an honest talk with her, tell her how you feel and if she is a decent person, should understand. Ask yourself exactly what is the main thing bothering you. Is it her? If so that talk will help. If she tells you to take a hike, you don't need her and she would only make thins worse for you. Something is causing it and you just look at the whole picture and figure it's everything. But if you focus, you will find what it is. Thats the hard part. But once you do, you will know, and then you can figure out how to resolve it. It may not happen overnight. But remember, you have friends here, and you can always count on me to lean on [img]smile.gif[/img] Take care Jessica [img]graemlins/love.gif[/img]

**TucsonBird** · 04-17-2005, 02:21 AM

Originally posted by Dirty8-un-Dreds:
oh and I didnt mean dont date at all for 4 years.. thats not very possible..

Leave it to me to be the person that does the unlikely thing :D

Originally posted by Dirty8-un-Dreds:
Basically you need to know that if something bad does happen that you are wanted.

Yeah, I know plenty of people that like to hang out with me, girls that are just cool as friends too. Either because they're not the kind of person for me or just because they have boyfriends. Wish there were more people that understood me like them. I guess my problem is it takes awhile for me to see that things aren't all that bad.

I drove by my old junior high the other day with my friend after picking him up. Both of us were like "damn, I miss the good old days where stuff wasn't so complicated"

Originally posted by Dirty8-un-Dreds:
and as to your friend, I wouldnt worry about it (if thats possible) spend what time you got (whether its years or a week) to have fun. Id try to keep him out of trouble though if I were you

Yeah, I'm starting to think his mom's just bluffing, but there's still that thought in the back of my mind that if she isn't then I won't see him for a long time. That's exactly why I've been hanging out so much with him this week. Recently since he graduated he's been getting into drugs and all that crap, so I'm trying to keep him from hanging out with the people that got him into it. I had suggested that he goes home and just take the 5 months that are left until he is 18 and kind of start over with his mom, and my dad came in today and talked to him and was saying that when he goes home just try to be nicer and respect his mom more. I guess that's what I was getting at, but let's hope he got it.

Originally posted by jessica2112:
I didn't want to leave the house or anything. When I first got depressed. Don't be so hard on yourself OK? I saw a shrink when I was 16 because of it, but was so upset at the thought, that I walked home after my mom dropped me off.

At first I never felt like doing anything on nights like this either, but now I try to be out doing stuff with friends as much as possible, because I don't want to be home with nothing to do when it hits me. I guess it's not the thought of me seeing a shrink that bothers me, but I'm just not really comfortable there and I don't like being in any doctor's office really. But I can see that it is helping. I opened up a lot more this last visit; we talked without my mom. I don't see how it turned out different though. Everything I said to him I could say to my mom too.

Originally posted by jessica2112:
Have an honest talk with her, tell her how you feel and if she is a decent person, should understand. Ask yourself exactly what is the main thing bothering you. Is it her? If so that talk will help. If she tells you to take a hike, you don't need her and she would only make thins worse for you. Something is causing it and you just look at the whole picture and figure it's everything. But if you focus, you will find what it is. Thats the hard part. But once you do, you will know, and then you can figure out how to resolve it. It may not happen overnight. But remember, you have friends here, and you can always count on me to lean on Take care Jessica

I think you're on to something ;) I'll try to remember that next time I get to talk to her. Thanks! This board is awesome.

**Dirty8-un-Dreds** · 04-17-2005, 02:28 AM

seems like you got the right idea going for ya. Now if I can manage to block out my roomates and their bs ill get this headache to go away hehe.

My friends used to have to force me to come out, but it worked. The oddest people will suprise you in times of need :D

I miss the good old days too when everything didnt have a catch (or a cost)

**FirebirdGT** · 04-18-2005, 05:20 PM

See a counselor.

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