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7 habits of highly defective drivers
First, there's the "Stop Light Drag Racer". This is typically an older driver, in a small to mid-sized four door. They'll sit at a red light staring intently, and as soon as the light goes green, they romp on it - pedal to the floor - right up to the speed limit. They'll modulate the gas and brake to keep their speed right on the appropriate hash, but they'll waste no time getting up to it. Of course, all the modulation of gas and brake goes on well after traffic has caught up and has become thoroughly annoyed.
Second on the list is your Soccer mom, SUV (that's Sub-Urban Vehicle) driver. They follow one universal SUV speed, no matter the speed limit. That's right, 40 mph no matter where they are (unless it's in their home's subdivision, where they'll yell at you for going 26 in a 25). On a two lane highway through town, they'll go 40 in a 55 - can't be driving so fast when there's places to stop and shop! In a residential area? 40. Can't be wasting time driving slow, there's places to be! They can also often be found using their turn signals 3 feet before they turn, because they've found a place they need to shop at. They have been known to put their vehicle on 3 wheels getting into a parking lot.
Next up is the "I drive safe, but not really" driver. This is usually a guy in his mid 30's that wants to look like he's contributing to society when people might be watching. This guy will go 24 in a 25, or 34 in a 35, especially through subdivisions. However, they're not really at all as safe as they think they are. This same guy who will hold up traffic through a two lane street will not use his turn signal at all. maybe he's so busy concentrating on keeping his speed right at the limit that he forgets? Also, don't count on him to come to a complete stop at a stop light. Come up to a stop, and he'll pull a nice, 10 mph "california roll" through the stop. Drives 3 speeds - 25mph, 35mph, and 20 over the limit after that. His problem is that those 120 horses just can't get moving under 40 mph, but after that you gotta let them run.
Number four on the list is a nice composite mix of the two. A SUV driving soccer mom who really wants you to THINK she's being safe. a "safe" soccer mom. Humorous really. I came up with the name for this one day driving home from school. She did a perfect mix of the above two drivers. She drove exactly 25 mph through her subdivison. She stopped for at least 5 seconds at every stop sign in the neighborhood. However, she got to the end of the subdivision, slowed down to a mere 10mph roll, turned right sans turn signal, and jetted away down the road at about 40 (speed limit was still 25). Her license plate? "SAFEMOM".
Fifth on the (should be criminal) lineup is what I refer to as the "bi-polar" driver. On the highway, this driver will come up barreling behind you, getting right up on your bumper. And being a courteous driver that I know you are, you move out of their way. They gun it past you as you keep a good constant speed. BUT...five minutes later, you pass them, and they're off in the slow lane hardly doing the speed limit! What happened? Did your calm, sensible self take over while you were doing 95, got spooked and slowed down? Probably. Look for the bipolar driver to be behind the steering wheel of an SUV, usually on a cellphone at the time, or possibly singing along with bad music.
Sixth up is the "Late for Work Road Rager with horrible intuition". This is the guy who can't stay in one lane, especially if there's a traffic jam. He'll beep his horn and flip people off for not letting him into another lane. He's been known to actually put his window down just in order to get his arm fully extended to flip the finger to you. When traffic in the lane next to him starts moving, he'll move over as quick as possible - usually just as that lane stops, and mere seconds before his lane stops moving. And he'll do the same thing again. It's pretty much like the beginning scene in Office Space. This person is usually anywhere from 25-55, in a luxury sedan. Often has gin and tonic on his mind, has unbuttoned his top shirt button, and loosened his tie, BEFORE he gets into work 15 minutes late.
Last on the list is the "Student Driver". I'm not talking about someone on an in-car with an instructor, but someone who just got their license and put the "Student Driver" bumper sticker on the back of their car. What this person needs to do is go home, get out daddy's socket set, reattach the training wheels on their bicycle, put on the knee pads, gloves, elbow pads, and helmet, and get to pedaling. This way, they'll feel safe driving on four wheels. Seriously - you're not a student driver anymore. You have your license, you're out of driving school - unless you're the type of person who "loved school so much they let you stay another year". If that's the case, try trading the 40 watt bulb for a 75 watt and tell me what happens.
CN: showcases 7 types of bad drivers
7 habits of highly defective drivers
First, there's the "Stop Light Drag Racer". This is typically an older driver, in a small to mid-sized four door. They'll sit at a red light staring intently, and as soon as the light goes green, they romp on it - pedal to the floor - right up to the speed limit. They'll modulate the gas and brake to keep their speed right on the appropriate hash, but they'll waste no time getting up to it. Of course, all the modulation of gas and brake goes on well after traffic has caught up and has become thoroughly annoyed.
Second on the list is your Soccer mom, SUV (that's Sub-Urban Vehicle) driver. They follow one universal SUV speed, no matter the speed limit. That's right, 40 mph no matter where they are (unless it's in their home's subdivision, where they'll yell at you for going 26 in a 25). On a two lane highway through town, they'll go 40 in a 55 - can't be driving so fast when there's places to stop and shop! In a residential area? 40. Can't be wasting time driving slow, there's places to be! They can also often be found using their turn signals 3 feet before they turn, because they've found a place they need to shop at. They have been known to put their vehicle on 3 wheels getting into a parking lot.
Next up is the "I drive safe, but not really" driver. This is usually a guy in his mid 30's that wants to look like he's contributing to society when people might be watching. This guy will go 24 in a 25, or 34 in a 35, especially through subdivisions. However, they're not really at all as safe as they think they are. This same guy who will hold up traffic through a two lane street will not use his turn signal at all. maybe he's so busy concentrating on keeping his speed right at the limit that he forgets? Also, don't count on him to come to a complete stop at a stop light. Come up to a stop, and he'll pull a nice, 10 mph "california roll" through the stop. Drives 3 speeds - 25mph, 35mph, and 20 over the limit after that. His problem is that those 120 horses just can't get moving under 40 mph, but after that you gotta let them run.
Number four on the list is a nice composite mix of the two. A SUV driving soccer mom who really wants you to THINK she's being safe. a "safe" soccer mom. Humorous really. I came up with the name for this one day driving home from school. She did a perfect mix of the above two drivers. She drove exactly 25 mph through her subdivison. She stopped for at least 5 seconds at every stop sign in the neighborhood. However, she got to the end of the subdivision, slowed down to a mere 10mph roll, turned right sans turn signal, and jetted away down the road at about 40 (speed limit was still 25). Her license plate? "SAFEMOM".
Fifth on the (should be criminal) lineup is what I refer to as the "bi-polar" driver. On the highway, this driver will come up barreling behind you, getting right up on your bumper. And being a courteous driver that I know you are, you move out of their way. They gun it past you as you keep a good constant speed. BUT...five minutes later, you pass them, and they're off in the slow lane hardly doing the speed limit! What happened? Did your calm, sensible self take over while you were doing 95, got spooked and slowed down? Probably. Look for the bipolar driver to be behind the steering wheel of an SUV, usually on a cellphone at the time, or possibly singing along with bad music.
Sixth up is the "Late for Work Road Rager with horrible intuition". This is the guy who can't stay in one lane, especially if there's a traffic jam. He'll beep his horn and flip people off for not letting him into another lane. He's been known to actually put his window down just in order to get his arm fully extended to flip the finger to you. When traffic in the lane next to him starts moving, he'll move over as quick as possible - usually just as that lane stops, and mere seconds before his lane stops moving. And he'll do the same thing again. It's pretty much like the beginning scene in Office Space. This person is usually anywhere from 25-55, in a luxury sedan. Often has gin and tonic on his mind, has unbuttoned his top shirt button, and loosened his tie, BEFORE he gets into work 15 minutes late.
Last on the list is the "Student Driver". I'm not talking about someone on an in-car with an instructor, but someone who just got their license and put the "Student Driver" bumper sticker on the back of their car. What this person needs to do is go home, get out daddy's socket set, reattach the training wheels on their bicycle, put on the knee pads, gloves, elbow pads, and helmet, and get to pedaling. This way, they'll feel safe driving on four wheels. Seriously - you're not a student driver anymore. You have your license, you're out of driving school - unless you're the type of person who "loved school so much they let you stay another year". If that's the case, try trading the 40 watt bulb for a 75 watt and tell me what happens.
CN: showcases 7 types of bad drivers
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