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Before i even start, this is going to be a long thread, and pretty personal, so be prepared i guess. ill probally end up editing some of this due to spelling errors and adding/changing details as i re-read it after i post it.
so, i guess i should start by explaining where im at right now in life, and explaining how exactly i got here. way back on november 11th 2007 i was at a friends house at a party, a bunch of us didnt go to school that day, and i was absolutly smashed by noon or so. fast forward to later that night. having already puked too many times to remember, and knowing i had to get home sometime, i stopped drinking and just chilled out, smoked some weed and switched to water.
I left my friends house around 1am or so, and i had to take 2 other friends home. i was almost to one of their houses when i got pulled over. ( liesence plate light was out ) long story short, i took a breather-lizer and blew .02 ( eqaul to recently using mouth wash ) but becuase im under-age, and cant blow anything. my 2 friends were beyond drunk at this time. i had about 5 or 6 grams of weed on me, along with 3 grams or so of coke. both my friends had small amounts of weed, and both had pipes on them. ( for what its worth, ive only done coke 3 times in my life, i got a good deal on an 8 ball , 3.5 grams, and just planned on making some cash quick )
I was sopossed to leave for college ( ohio tech for diesel/alt. fuels ) 5 weeks after graduating high school in june. i was already accpeted, already went to an open house, ect. now, the dui alone would have suspended my liecense, and i certianly couldnt go to school and cleavland and walk everywhere or take public transportation everywhere, and i would have needed my liesence to move/drive/ test drive vehicles ect.
So i waited and waited for something to come in the mail from the arrest, knowing they had 1 year to press charges, i didnt leave for school when i was going to becuase i felt there was no point in leaving, then having to come back to lose my liesence, be put on probation among many other punishments that awaited. so i waited, quit my job at a local groceyer store, and started working with my brother at a frozen food warehouse where he was a supervisor. i had to pass a urine test to get the job, but knowing a decent amount on how toxins are stored, and how drug tests are, i didnt quit smoking. in fact, i got drunk as hell and smoked a decent amount the night before the test. i passed the test and began working with my brother. making $12 and hour compared to min. wage at the groceyer store i had more money than i was mature anough to handle responsably. i smoked alot more weed, started taking pills, mostly high powered pain killers ( narco's and perk 10's were my choice ) i didnt do them often, maybe once a month for 4-5 days straight. ( and then withdrawl bad for a day or two ) but i was taking 5 or 6 of them before school, and snorting a couple during school to keep it going. everyone thought it was bad, becuase at my body weight i shouldnt be able to take so many, and still be able to go to school/ not get sick. i paid no attention becuase i knew i was addicted to them and didnt do them often.
A peice of history first, i started smoking weed when i was in 8th grade, 14 or so i think. i continued to use just weed for years. after a while, i relized the ease of making money selling it, and begin to get slightly larger amounts and selling anough to make my money back and smoke the rest to my head. i started out just getting "quarters" ( quarter ounce/ 7 grams) and selling 5 individual grams at 20 a pop, and the rest was mine.i was getting rid of them slowly, over 5-7 days id say. by the time i got arrested in november, i was moving around a quarter pound a week with no problem, selling larger amounts then just grams. luckly, somehow at the time of the arrest, i didnt have much on me and the cops had no idea what ive been up to the past years.
So i never recieved any paper work from the arrest and assume someone at the station knew it was good weed and pretty pure coke and just took them for themselves. so now i was working in a warehouse with people from all over, making access to more/different drugs very easy. By this time, local cops were some-what on to what i was up to. i got pulled over in my local area about 1-3 times a week, and got used to it, payed no attention to it. i knew how to run my business, and do it safely and not get caught at this point in time. i was pushing over a pound every week, that combined with money from work it was far too easy for me to just waste money, on everything i could get my hands on. but i planned on going to school now that a year had passed and nothing happened. i slowed my drug use, and sale, and began to get my life in order to go to school like i had wanted to sence i graduated.
On january 3rd, of this year, i was going to my buddys house and pick him up. on the way there, i passed a cop about 2 blocks from his house. i noticed the cop started down my car and slowed down as i passed. i got to his house, pulled in his driveway and waited for him to come out. the same cop i had just passed drove by, very slow, and begins to circle the block again. at this point i was pretty mad, knowing they were watching me. so my buddy comes out, hops in the car and i get to the end of his block and that same cop, now that full block behind turns on the lights. knowing i had a decent distance between me and him, i decided to run. i put about a half mile between me and the cop by getting on the near by highway, and not lifting the gas pedal at all. i thought i had gotten away, having run from the cops multiple times before on back country roads on smoke rides and such, running was nothing new to me, and i could no longer see flashing lights. i off an the exit to go to my house, and everything was good. as i got down the road further, i noticed the road block. i was ripped out of the car and kicked in the face with too many guns to my head to count. it was a wake up call and a half.
i spent that night, the next day, and the better part of that afternoon in the county prison. i was depressed, mad as hell, and confused on what to do with myself at that point. i screwed myself over to go to school once again, and at that point was more suicidle than im going to talk about. i only had 2 grams of weed on me,along with a blunt i had rolled. i really had no reason to run, the cops would have taken the weed and let me go on my way. im still to this day, not really sure what all was going through my head. i currently have 19 charges, one of which is a felon. ( fleeing and evading )
i talked to a lawyer, who reccommened i got in a rehab program asap. after calling every local rehab center, none wanted to take me for an in house ( 28-30 day) program when they found out all i was going to have in my system was weed ( if that ) I ended up getting into a program that was monday-thursday 6pm-9pm which i am still attending. my preliminary hearing went ok, not really giving me much info on what to do. the first time i went to the program, the entire ride there i thought about turning around, feeling i didnt need it, and that it was just a waste of my time. i started the program on the 6th, and havent missed a metting yet. ive been attending a few different A.A. meetings trying to find one that i feel safe and can be secure anough to share in.
As of right now, i have no idea whats going to happen as far as school goes, i still want to go more than anything, and thats my main goal as of now. i dont know weather or not ill get jail time, which scares me more than i can put into words. the rehab program isnt as bad as i first thought, and its definatly helping. its a small group, 10 people or so, male and female, ages range from mine at barely 18, to 60+ and i feel very safe in it, and have no problem sharing in it. the A.A. meetings are much larger, some reaching into the hundreds. i have yet to find one that i feel as comfortable in as the rehad class, but im still looking around.
I'll end it here as im tired of typing. postive feed-back is more than welcome, but honestly, if you have nothing good to offer, just keep it to yourself as im in no shape to listen to it. thanks everyone...
so, i guess i should start by explaining where im at right now in life, and explaining how exactly i got here. way back on november 11th 2007 i was at a friends house at a party, a bunch of us didnt go to school that day, and i was absolutly smashed by noon or so. fast forward to later that night. having already puked too many times to remember, and knowing i had to get home sometime, i stopped drinking and just chilled out, smoked some weed and switched to water.
I left my friends house around 1am or so, and i had to take 2 other friends home. i was almost to one of their houses when i got pulled over. ( liesence plate light was out ) long story short, i took a breather-lizer and blew .02 ( eqaul to recently using mouth wash ) but becuase im under-age, and cant blow anything. my 2 friends were beyond drunk at this time. i had about 5 or 6 grams of weed on me, along with 3 grams or so of coke. both my friends had small amounts of weed, and both had pipes on them. ( for what its worth, ive only done coke 3 times in my life, i got a good deal on an 8 ball , 3.5 grams, and just planned on making some cash quick )
I was sopossed to leave for college ( ohio tech for diesel/alt. fuels ) 5 weeks after graduating high school in june. i was already accpeted, already went to an open house, ect. now, the dui alone would have suspended my liecense, and i certianly couldnt go to school and cleavland and walk everywhere or take public transportation everywhere, and i would have needed my liesence to move/drive/ test drive vehicles ect.
So i waited and waited for something to come in the mail from the arrest, knowing they had 1 year to press charges, i didnt leave for school when i was going to becuase i felt there was no point in leaving, then having to come back to lose my liesence, be put on probation among many other punishments that awaited. so i waited, quit my job at a local groceyer store, and started working with my brother at a frozen food warehouse where he was a supervisor. i had to pass a urine test to get the job, but knowing a decent amount on how toxins are stored, and how drug tests are, i didnt quit smoking. in fact, i got drunk as hell and smoked a decent amount the night before the test. i passed the test and began working with my brother. making $12 and hour compared to min. wage at the groceyer store i had more money than i was mature anough to handle responsably. i smoked alot more weed, started taking pills, mostly high powered pain killers ( narco's and perk 10's were my choice ) i didnt do them often, maybe once a month for 4-5 days straight. ( and then withdrawl bad for a day or two ) but i was taking 5 or 6 of them before school, and snorting a couple during school to keep it going. everyone thought it was bad, becuase at my body weight i shouldnt be able to take so many, and still be able to go to school/ not get sick. i paid no attention becuase i knew i was addicted to them and didnt do them often.
A peice of history first, i started smoking weed when i was in 8th grade, 14 or so i think. i continued to use just weed for years. after a while, i relized the ease of making money selling it, and begin to get slightly larger amounts and selling anough to make my money back and smoke the rest to my head. i started out just getting "quarters" ( quarter ounce/ 7 grams) and selling 5 individual grams at 20 a pop, and the rest was mine.i was getting rid of them slowly, over 5-7 days id say. by the time i got arrested in november, i was moving around a quarter pound a week with no problem, selling larger amounts then just grams. luckly, somehow at the time of the arrest, i didnt have much on me and the cops had no idea what ive been up to the past years.
So i never recieved any paper work from the arrest and assume someone at the station knew it was good weed and pretty pure coke and just took them for themselves. so now i was working in a warehouse with people from all over, making access to more/different drugs very easy. By this time, local cops were some-what on to what i was up to. i got pulled over in my local area about 1-3 times a week, and got used to it, payed no attention to it. i knew how to run my business, and do it safely and not get caught at this point in time. i was pushing over a pound every week, that combined with money from work it was far too easy for me to just waste money, on everything i could get my hands on. but i planned on going to school now that a year had passed and nothing happened. i slowed my drug use, and sale, and began to get my life in order to go to school like i had wanted to sence i graduated.
On january 3rd, of this year, i was going to my buddys house and pick him up. on the way there, i passed a cop about 2 blocks from his house. i noticed the cop started down my car and slowed down as i passed. i got to his house, pulled in his driveway and waited for him to come out. the same cop i had just passed drove by, very slow, and begins to circle the block again. at this point i was pretty mad, knowing they were watching me. so my buddy comes out, hops in the car and i get to the end of his block and that same cop, now that full block behind turns on the lights. knowing i had a decent distance between me and him, i decided to run. i put about a half mile between me and the cop by getting on the near by highway, and not lifting the gas pedal at all. i thought i had gotten away, having run from the cops multiple times before on back country roads on smoke rides and such, running was nothing new to me, and i could no longer see flashing lights. i off an the exit to go to my house, and everything was good. as i got down the road further, i noticed the road block. i was ripped out of the car and kicked in the face with too many guns to my head to count. it was a wake up call and a half.
i spent that night, the next day, and the better part of that afternoon in the county prison. i was depressed, mad as hell, and confused on what to do with myself at that point. i screwed myself over to go to school once again, and at that point was more suicidle than im going to talk about. i only had 2 grams of weed on me,along with a blunt i had rolled. i really had no reason to run, the cops would have taken the weed and let me go on my way. im still to this day, not really sure what all was going through my head. i currently have 19 charges, one of which is a felon. ( fleeing and evading )
i talked to a lawyer, who reccommened i got in a rehab program asap. after calling every local rehab center, none wanted to take me for an in house ( 28-30 day) program when they found out all i was going to have in my system was weed ( if that ) I ended up getting into a program that was monday-thursday 6pm-9pm which i am still attending. my preliminary hearing went ok, not really giving me much info on what to do. the first time i went to the program, the entire ride there i thought about turning around, feeling i didnt need it, and that it was just a waste of my time. i started the program on the 6th, and havent missed a metting yet. ive been attending a few different A.A. meetings trying to find one that i feel safe and can be secure anough to share in.
As of right now, i have no idea whats going to happen as far as school goes, i still want to go more than anything, and thats my main goal as of now. i dont know weather or not ill get jail time, which scares me more than i can put into words. the rehab program isnt as bad as i first thought, and its definatly helping. its a small group, 10 people or so, male and female, ages range from mine at barely 18, to 60+ and i feel very safe in it, and have no problem sharing in it. the A.A. meetings are much larger, some reaching into the hundreds. i have yet to find one that i feel as comfortable in as the rehad class, but im still looking around.
I'll end it here as im tired of typing. postive feed-back is more than welcome, but honestly, if you have nothing good to offer, just keep it to yourself as im in no shape to listen to it. thanks everyone...
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